This little shy boy is my cousin.
He has a knack for asking questions that I find hard to answer. He is as persistent as a monkey that wants to know how smooth snake skin feels. However that is not the problem. This little cousin of mine and I have struck up a nice relationship. In fact we sleep in the same room and on some nights discuss matters of absolute importance (read girls) till the almost wee hours of the morning.
This is me...(notice the resemblance)
Joel and I share a name; yes I mean that while his name is Joel mine is Joel- make sense? Okay, we move on. He and I never used to talk like we do previously. By previously I mean before last year. Talking was never a priority. In fact at home it was mostly voice commands when it came to him; and that was what everybody else used, like
“Have you bathed?”, “Have you taken drugs?” etc etc and his answer would either be “yes” or “no”. There was nothing like a relationship. I doubt he enjoyed coming to visit us, apart from playing Mortal Kombat and Bikes on the computer, the rest was really impersonal.
This is our favourite rap duo- The Grits. (Our favourite song is Where are you going by these two- Coffee and Bonafide)
What made it worse for the poor boy was that he had just previously lost his mom and brother. So, the trauma never allowed him to speak. We mistook the trauma for pride, I think. I am ashamed of myself. But let us move on anyway.
So Joel joined secondary school three years ago. He is now going to join senior three and so he came home for the Christmas break. I guess it would have been the same as each year hadn’t I moved out of the main house. So, my ka-temporary place is a bit spacious. It can handle two beds and ….yeah, so… My aunt decided that instead of sleeping via some hard floor he better move in with me.
The first nights were “normal”, normal being we did not talk that much if at all. However the subsequent nights kind of eased the both of us and we began speaking for long hours and on comprehensive topics (read girls). He does not talk to any of the guys at home like he does with me. I have been able to promise and deliver ice cream which he had longed for and made it a point to chip in some chops. (Sweet buttercookie, it was for the love of the boy…)
This is Coffee in the video of "Here We Go".
Yesterday I had issues. So when I got home, I went straight to my crib, did not talk mob with anyone. I decided to get onto the laptop and play NFS MW, to pass some time and think of my issues. After a while, I needed to go to the toilet and in the process passed by the fridge to get something cold. From the toilet I was going back to my crib and Joel said,
“Eiiih…as if I am not a person?”
I wondered whatever this little boy was trying to say
“Ever since you came back, you have not even said anything to me?”…
I felt bad on the inside, in fact I knew I was guilty but I like most guys would do, spoke as if I did not even commit the crime committed. I then went on to ask him how he was and that he was looking different because of the new t-shirt he was donning.
I quickly continued to my crib. Then I felt that sincerely I had not been a good brother/cousin. Thus this post. I love my cousin, he is one of the few souls I can take freely with among my relatives. He is like my kid brother. I felt bad for what I did but would like to give him a treat..what do u think I should do? I mean in a big way? More ice cream perhaps?
Anyway, when all is said and done, I guess the point of this post is to remind us not to forget who we are in the eyes of those around us. Be the Father, Mother, Wife, Husband, Brother, Sister, Teacher you ought to be despite your own personal struggles. There are people who look up to you for hope and consolation; you are their piece of relief. Whether you’re feeling wicked on the inside or angelic, to them you remain Joel, the cousin who talks with them each time he comes back from work.
On my stereo
No more- Papa San feat Cyril
Tight with these- Grits
How it used to be -Kirk Franklin
All I Ever Needed- Sherwin Gardner feat Isaac Blackman
Eye on the Sparrow- Sherwin Gardner
Disaster- Papa San
What is this- Mary Mary
Still in love- Kirk Franklin
Higher Heights- Papa San