I remember telling you guys how last Saturday was one of the best ever in my life; it could have been but alas, it has brought more chemical reactions within than I had ever anticipated. Yes, it’s about a girl.
I am a victim of the “all comes rushing down” feeling; that feeling when you see an ex after a long time and her beautiful face just makes you wish things were as they were three years ago. Well, I cannot say we were relating to a point where I can say we are now “ex”s, rather it is from they complexity of having a guy and girl being best friends.
We did everything together and one of the most memorable moments was when I was about to lose her; I never dreamt that I would one day walk across the Owen Falls Dam with a beautiful girl like her, talking about random things while the sun shone and the wind blew, noticing the webs on the bridge. Never anticipated having to calm a beautiful girl down when she was crying because my phone was stolen. It was such an unforgettable experience for me. I was myself with her, she was herself with me. Till I quit Church.
Quitting Church made a way for him- the taller darker guy who would eventually win her heart. He was the man of her dreams and finally he had the space to engage her while I was away. When she let me know, I was broken and we became hostile for a short while but then we made up and resumed friendship although since campus had ended I would no longer be in constant communication with her any more.
Last Saturday I called her. She would eventually ask me to get her some delicacy she had taken a while without having, so after the soup kitchen I headed to where she was. The moment I saw her…
We did not spend more than five minutes together but it was one of the best moments of the year; I was entranced by her glow, her smile, her energy. It did not hit me then, it began slowly; the rush. At the time, I could not consider it a lot because I was with a friend, an O.G and well, we were talking. However, as the week came to a close, the intensity of the rush increased.
I dreamt of her last night and she was looking gorgeous, but then, she isn’t mine. To make it worse, friends of mine by God’s grace successfully entered a relationship after a time of ups and downs. I was so happy for them because I know they are happy. It just made me think that I could possibly have felt the same way they do with her. (Listening to Plus One’s Let me be the one right now just makes me want to weep).
I have tried to fall in love ever since but she never goes away. She remains in my heart. Ever since her I can truthfully say I have never truly been in love. What can I do? I had convinced myself I was over her but now my heart beats as if without her it can never love a woman again truly. What can I do? I thought distance would help. It was working till I saw her… Blogren, help ???
As you do, I say a prayer for all Ugandan bloggers this week.
At the start of the week, may God be your guide, may He be your guard. May He be your balm, may He be your peace. May He be your strength, may He be your breath! I pray in Jesus' name.
Eph 2:4 But God's mercy is so abundant, and his love for us is so great,