Monday, November 17, 2008

Of lost love

Good new week blogren. I thought I would share some great stuff by Spurgeon here

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I remember telling you guys how last Saturday was one of the best ever in my life; it could have been but alas, it has brought more chemical reactions within than I had ever anticipated. Yes, it’s about a girl.

I am a victim of the “all comes rushing down” feeling; that feeling when you see an ex after a long time and her beautiful face just makes you wish things were as they were three years ago. Well, I cannot say we were relating to a point where I can say we are now “ex”s, rather it is from they complexity of having a guy and girl being best friends.

We did everything together and one of the most memorable moments was when I was about to lose her; I never dreamt that I would one day walk across the Owen Falls Dam with a beautiful girl like her, talking about random things while the sun shone and the wind blew, noticing the webs on the bridge. Never anticipated having to calm a beautiful girl down when she was crying because my phone was stolen. It was such an unforgettable experience for me. I was myself with her, she was herself with me. Till I quit Church.

Quitting Church made a way for him- the taller darker guy who would eventually win her heart. He was the man of her dreams and finally he had the space to engage her while I was away. When she let me know, I was broken and we became hostile for a short while but then we made up and resumed friendship although since campus had ended I would no longer be in constant communication with her any more.

Last Saturday I called her. She would eventually ask me to get her some delicacy she had taken a while without having, so after the soup kitchen I headed to where she was. The moment I saw her…

We did not spend more than five minutes together but it was one of the best moments of the year; I was entranced by her glow, her smile, her energy. It did not hit me then, it began slowly; the rush. At the time, I could not consider it a lot because I was with a friend, an O.G and well, we were talking. However, as the week came to a close, the intensity of the rush increased.

I dreamt of her last night and she was looking gorgeous, but then, she isn’t mine. To make it worse, friends of mine by God’s grace successfully entered a relationship after a time of ups and downs. I was so happy for them because I know they are happy. It just made me think that I could possibly have felt the same way they do with her. (Listening to Plus One’s Let me be the one right now just makes me want to weep).

I have tried to fall in love ever since but she never goes away. She remains in my heart. Ever since her I can truthfully say I have never truly been in love. What can I do? I had convinced myself I was over her but now my heart beats as if without her it can never love a woman again truly. What can I do? I thought distance would help. It was working till I saw her… Blogren, help ???

As you do, I say a prayer for all Ugandan bloggers this week.

At the start of the week, may God be your guide, may He be your guard. May He be your balm, may He be your peace. May He be your strength, may He be your breath! I pray in Jesus' name.

Eph 2:4 But God's mercy is so abundant, and his love for us is so great,

22 comments:

Emi's said...

Socks socks,

Now for Cheri, Carlo, Baz and all the others who have thought Nev was still there, our little innocent guy is not really that Innocent....He is in fact a romantic..walking own falls dam..i don't do that.

Nev, you have to forget her and move on. Sori the taller guy took her it can be painful but Am sure the blog Pimp Miss Cheri can set up something for you....she did for Ivan.
I too have had mob past attachments, too many for my own good but know when it's time to quit when stuff don't work out and try not linger too much on done stuff.

Princess said...

I was here. But I'm staying away from giving advice about love. The others will have lots to say, no doubt.
Be well, Nev.

Princess said...

But Emi! Tsk, tsk on this socks business! :D

Anonymous said...

dude, that has happened to me, distance and time, always, the moment the object appears near you, all is lost. i ran.

inspired. thanks. now off to start my week.

Ugandan girl said...

Hey..been there...yah i think you shld move on too..you never know maybe she never was the one...

have a great week..xx

@ Princess me am starting to think the Emi's has an post dector hence he always gets socks..lol...

Anonymous said...

eddsla here

engaged?
there is nada u can do nw dude, jst buy a new net n go angling else where, our waters (read city)is fertile.
gudluck

Anonymous said...

A right mess, this. I agree with the rest who say you have to move on. When her veil is removed from your face you will see others. Really.

Elle B said...

Hi. never been there but i could still write u an essay on what-not-to-do's.

Don't dwell luv, she's gone, get over her. Besides, rumour has it, it's better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all. So count yourself lucky and go on to get even more lucky.

Anonymous said...

Ok let's be real. Nev, other than 'move on, move on' what else did u expect for all the guys up here?
Just to try:
Go meet her more often, watch them act out their love and stuff. Then u'll get so used you won't need to get over her. I work with my ex. Now that i actually treat her like a friend, she's getting all clingy. The tables have turned. See?

Unknown said...

@Emi's: Moving on is not like wiping chalk off a blackboard. My HDD has 3years of her there and formatting is not an option. And yes, me I am a romantic. I believe in those love songs... lol.

@Princess: be well?!!! That's all you can say? After all we've been through? Kale...

@31337: Wama u seem to understand my situation- just the sight of her...but i need solutions..

@Ugandan girl: thanks, I will try...

@Eddsla: simple solutions for complex problems! lol.

@Minty: This makes sense When her veil is removed from your face you will see others.

@Elle b: The what-not-to-do's could still be of help. To have loved...and to lose still sucks.

@Erique: Man, I left church, so I cannot see them. Seeing them would be a good idea now that I think of it..but there are no means!!

More thoughts are welcome.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the prayer
i shall say one for you two...

Unknown said...

Thanks B2B.

Tandra said...

awwwwww....lost love...

I could reiterate what everybody just said (which is good advice) but i also would like to point out that you shd just go with the flow. Where ever the flow takes you.

Everything happens for a reason and all that Fate/karma wat-eiva :-)

Petite Femme said...

Man, Nev "shocked" me sometime last week when he said he'd been there and done IT!!!
I felt so "betrayed."
I kid I kid.

Sorry Nev man, it';s part of the whole cycle...see now B2B is having a leap. U will too.

Emi, I didn't do nothing for Ivan. Don't start fires here.

Princess said...

Ok, Nev. I'll say it then. I'm skeptical about there being, "the one." She moved on. So should you. Memory does paint a rosier picture than reality anyway.

lulu said...

ayah, am outa time havent read it proplery but anm cumming bakc!

lulu said...

that was a mirror to your soulto find where you are at... in this tihng...are you healed or not... but you must go on... and if its meant to be, she will be yours, place it in God's hand and let his peace rule your soul, it will be well, thanks for the prayers, my monday was wack, am okay now...

Unknown said...

Lulu was surely in a hurry: ayah, am outa time havent read it proplery but anm cumming bakc!

Peace be still wabula!

Miss Cheri, at least for you will wait-eh? You wait for me...

Mwana I just have to kusiba mutima and be like Joshua- strong and of good courage. But there are things I wish I knew...

the antipop said...

first off, thank you for the prayer...
secondly, accept this hug ((((N))))
third, love is a bitch!. You can not controll who you love. bad as they might be, good as they might be. You can not command love. it happens on its own will. or by God's grace...

Unknown said...

Thanks Auntie...I needed that.

Anonymous said...

tsk tsk..... Life and all its challenges and gifts....
Time to walk dude, right now she is gone..
Am a romantic too :)
And we believe in the happy ever after no matter what.
So Nev, She's coming - the Hot Chick who will knock your socks off :)

Unknown said...

@therpage: thanks...for reminding me of the hot chick..!!