Day 4: Bullet

This is extremely hard. Asking me to bullet my day is like asking me to get to the top of a mountain using slippers. I cannot do it. My day is extremely pointless! This is an exercise in futility. I mean, yeah, alright, I 

• wake up: like normal people do. if everything goes according to plan, I 
• brush my teeth and then do the water dance. After that if I have no ironed clothes, I proceed to
• iron my clothes. After putting them on I went to the sitting room and 
• switched on the tele and ps3. I went back to my room and
• brushed my shoes. 
• brought my shoes to the sitting room
• and played FIFA11. After that I went out to the car with my bro
• Left home. In the car, I began
• Texting a flower about the sunrise
• Got to work 
• bought cassava and samosas
• got into office
• switched on Cortex
• loaded kika
• called the flower
• got to start my work day

Banange you people... Bullets? Ah!

Day 3: A Book I Love

I'm travelling tomorrow, so I better do this now, coz I will not be able to if I don't.

I am not such a reader, I confess. I have fooled many, I know. Learnt a bad habit from a comedy that reading a book is easy; read the first line and the last line and voila! You have the whole story. I tried it, does not work well. :)

Reading can be a burden, if I am not captivated. That is why the Bible stays relevant to me- it speaks. As in, it does not just toy with my emotions, it actually speaks. It rebukes, it encourages, it comforts and consoles. I consider it a book I love because it is the kind of book  I can go back to again and again, not for enjoyment but for learning, enjoying while at it.

Yes, this was obvious no?

I have tried to read before. The last book I finished reading was The Da Vinci Code. I almost never put it down. Brilliant suspense. I tried Angels and Demons after that and a whole lot of other books but unsuccesfully.

However, I have had good success before. Some of the best books I read were on the Literature syllabus at school: The River Between, Betrayal in the City, Carcass for Hounds, The Plague etc.. However, a book I will never forget is Darkness at Noon- Arthur Koestler. What a gripping story! The style itself was fabulous, raw, the book itself dark. Still, another book fits in this post:

Paradise Lost: John Milton.

I do not know how I landed on this book, but I did, and I had such a consuming read. It's like John Milton was Michale Holmes, giving the inside story of how things happened in the start. The plot of the devil, the gullibility of man, the passion of God, the scenes of heaven, descriptions of hell....

Ah, man. This book is awesome. It is an incredible poem. Wikipedia says this

Paradise Lost is an epic poem in blank verse by the 17th-century English poet John Milton. It was originally published in 1667 in ten books, with a total of over ten thousand individual lines of verse. A second edition followed in 1674, changed into twelve books (in the manner of the division of Virgil's Aeneid) with minor revisions throughout and a note on the versification.^[1]The poem concerns the Biblical story of the Fall of Man: the temptation of Adam and Eve by the fallen angel Satan and their expulsion from the Garden of Eden. Milton's purpose, stated in Book I, is to "justify the ways of God to men."^[2] Paradise Lost is often considered one of the greatest literary works in the English language.^[3]

Milton also goes on to write Paradise Regained- another tale, of the temptation of Jesus. I recommend this man's works.

Day 2: Blogger Challenge.Serving God and Mammon.

It wasn't funny, or was it? I mean that thing I did yesterday, when you asked me the five ways to win my heart?  Lol, I'm sorry, I know you wanted a serious answer but I did give one. Trust me.

Anyway, I continue on this challenge today.

I will write about something I feel strongly about now.

You see, I have conflicts with bandwagons. Albeit this challenge can also be called a bandwagon, but I will let this slide. Usually, my heart initially has this thing they call conviction. Others might call it conscience, or that still small voice. I hope you agree with me that conviction is not always a thing which ministers peace. No, it doesn't.

In a world where there are many opinions and voices, the conviction has it's own voice too, usually distinct from others. And when it speaks; conflict. Not that my conviction will always disagree but on many occasions it does.

When persuaded to do something against one's conviction or conscience, a quiet battle enrages inside me. It is not immediately visible on the outside but the more you prod and ask and talk, you would know there is a conflict.

I hate bandwagons. I hate having to conform to a standard I do not believe in on account of myself. I hate having to go with the flow because it is the popular flow. I will share an example. There is a popular thing these days going around especially among people my age. Everyone seems to have this one thing on their mind- How do I get rich? I am not against working to earn one's dime, or about investing to keep the money coming. I am just so amused at how it seems that if I do not fall in the box of the entrepreneurs or those with the start ups, then I might as well go back to the village.

I am not against entrepreneurs or anything. I feel that in this country today, getting rich is a big deal. And most especially among the youth.

Churches are going businesscentric. Everyone is "Thinking Big". Yes, I will be reminded about the parable of the talents- invest. Make 2 become 4. 5 ten. Do not sit on it. Get ahead of the game. Get out of the ratrace. Hit the top.

Business books are selling like hot cakes. Before the street vendors were evicted, you would have noticed that there are books popular on sale. Some titles: Think Big. Rich Dad Poor Dad. Richest Man in Babylon. etc. I talk with friends and their conversations are about money. Even in the fellowships.

Don't get me wrong. I want to have money. Enough and even more than enough, the purpose of which I will not share here. I have been told how to make that money too. "give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, shall they give into your bosom. For with what measure ye mete it shall be measured to you again."

Here is my problem especially with this bandwagon and it's impact on the Church. Yes, the Church.

I am perhaps low of knowledge, but doesn't the Lord say - “No one can serve two masters; for a slave will either hate the one and love the other, or be devoted to the one and despise theother. You cannot serve God and wealth."

Also, doesn't the Word say -And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things,may have an abundance for every good work.."?

 Does the Word not say "Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor to trust in uncertain kriches but in the living God, who gives us richly all things lto enjoy. 18 Let them do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to give, willing to share, 19 mstoring up for themselves a good foundation for the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life. 1 Tim 6:17".

I am also certain Christ intimates to us Matthew 6:19-21  “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rustg consume and where thieves break in and steal; 20 but storeup for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rusthconsumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For whereyour treasure is, there your heart will be also. "

So where is my focus going? Everyone's getting rich. Or wants to be rich and are ready to do what it takes. But Father, what is the thing you have called me for? Isn't my heart tumultous when I know I am not doing the will of God. It might be fine that your conviction has no issue with this, perhaps God has sent you out to make that money. However, has He sent me?

 “It is not right that we should give up preaching the word of God to serve tables. " Acts 6:2 This sort of strikes a chord in me. What am I called to do?  Also "No soldier on service gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to satisfy the one who enlisted him." 2 Tim 2:4
It is easy to be in the bandwagon. But where does God want me to be?

Pea, a friend of mine says " how to get rich: invest into eternity.  the only wealth you have here that you will carry with you into eternity is people".

So, my conviction is building up a storm inside me. What if I am not meant to be at the top with you rich people? Christ's investment was time, and his life, his returns- brethren.

I want to follow my conviction- God given conviction, not economy driven conviction. Yes, He shall supply all my needs according to His riches. I will eat the good of the land if I obey, He will add all these things if I seek first His Kingdom.

God, won't you help me follow this conviction?

There- that is what I am feeling strongly about right now.

Five ways to win my heart

I do not know when I last attempted a blog writing challenge but I want to get involved. Spurred by Iteti and TRP, I decided to see how I will cope with the 30 Day Writer's Blog Challenge.

Here goes.

Five ways to win my heart?
Hmmm.
Is that rhetoric or an actual question?

The heart, you say, is like a mouse
And the traps for it are more than one?

Perhaps a sound of an acoustic guitar
Or the verse of skilled trobairitz?
Yet shall there be one?

Five ways to win my heart, you ask?
And I thought there was one-
So why five, may I ask,
For I cannot seem to even start.

Five.

One for each day of the week?
Maybe, weekends aside?
Shall my heart not need winning on the 6th?

Maybe five,
He loves me, He loves me not
Till the flower petals are done
Such that whether I want to or not
You will have to win my heart?

Five, so we can learn to love from our fingertips?
Never to forget what made this so special?

Five ways yet I do not know where to start!

Five ways,
And I thought there was only one.
And that one way,
Is it not that I win yours first?

The Meeting

I met her by the tree, on the path through the meadow. I had to stop for I heard sobs. I paused and turned, placed my eyes on her face and saw them rolling down her face. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" I said.

She looked up and wiped her tears, the gleam in her eyes disappearing as soon as I had seen it.

"Hi."

"Why are you crying?" I asked.

"Who said I'm crying?" 

Her eyes were completely dry now and she had on a stern look. I could tell she did not want me to ask any questions, especially since I was a stranger walking on the path through the meadow.I had no business asking. I had to ask though, because here was a flower, by herself in a garden crying instead of smiling.

"I am Sher."

"Hi Sher."

She was persisting. I just wanted to help.

"I bet if you'd smile, you'd look brighter than those daffodils", I said while looking at the yellow flowers a distance away.

A smile broke, and then a giggle and the she said,

"You're crazy".

"Haha, thanks. So, I wonder why you're sitting in such a beautiful place by yourself and shedding tears?"

"Don't worry, I am okay now".

"So you were actually crying, hehe" I said teasing her.

"You're really crazy."

Clearly she wasn't going to answer that question. All the while I was standing looking down at her, and she was sitting, looking up at me occasionally to tell me I was crazy so I thought it was maybe time to take a walk. I stretched my hand forward, motioning to her to help her up. She saw my hand, said no thanks and helped herself up.

"You don't touch strangers?"

"I guess by the time I know your name, your no longer one. I just didn't need your help."

"Oh, okay. Do you mind we take a walk?"

"I do, I have to get home."

"There's only one path out of here you know".

"I know", and she started walking towards the direction I had come from.

"Hey, do you mind if I walk with you ?" I asked.

"Don't you have somewhere to go?"

"I do, but that's not your worry."

She smiled, and then said it was okay. We walked back together into the other side of the valley, talking and laughing. By the time we got the departure point, I had seen more of her smile albeit hearing a lot more "you are crazy"'s but it was alright because that day changed the rest of my life, I had met Adler.

Delicate Honesty

Words. They are simply not just words.

If you have ever had an argument, ever been lied to, ever been fired or given a job, ever been told you're loved or hated, you know that words are not simply words. They are just so heavy!

She needed to talk. It's nothing serious She said. However, I knew, she knew it was very serious. Otherwise, why was she pausing with her words, breathing heavy, laughing at everything but what was funny? The walk, normally short, became needlessly long. The city became quiet at rush hour; there were people, just could not hear them. The thing in the chest was heavy.

Words were needed. And how I stalled. Jokes, quotes, anecdotes and silly arguments just to avoid the oncoming . Fighting fire with fire, fighting words with words. Alas, To every thing there is a season, and a time for every purpose under the heavens: This needed to be addressed.

So, we went into a cafe, sat down our troubles and dined with them.

Still, we had to get through a meal, layers of superfluous conversation to the heart of the matter. Words. Words are like chords connected to everything in life. They have power to encourage or dishearten, to build up or destroy, to amuse or annoy. Whether they are read, or listened to, they have the same power.

Yes, there was an issue. However, the way the words were to come out would determine a lot in the future. They would reveal the true cloth of each of us. Sadly some words are so transparent they reveal the nature of the sayer right from the start. Some are opaque.

Words can be hateful, dishonest, harmful given how they are said, and in the cafe, that night, I did not want to use my words as causes of injury, or if they were, let it just be a glaze.

See, we cannot , should never be reckless with words for they are one of the hardest inks to erase. We should learn the art of delicate honesty, the need to tell the truth the right and least harmful but most effective way. I believe it is possible. Even in a bad situation, words can be used for good not for evil. I need greater help in this but I do hope that in that cafe, my words were building, not destroying coz 30 minutes after the truth had been served; we were both laughing, looking at the huge moon in the sky.
  
Col 4:6  Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

I wear lipstick

I hate to admit it, I do. However, it is true. I wear cosmetics.

There,  I said it. Go ahead and call me names- metrosexual, gay, whatever. I do not mind being called the names because I bet there are some of you reading this who are exactly like me. What do I mean? Yes, you also put them on. Wha?? Am I crazy? You've never worn lipstick, eye shadow, fake breasts, high heels, tight jeans and the like? Are you sure?!

I do it, sometimes without noticing, sometimes and most times very consciously! You may have done it. I struggle with it: Trying to fit in.

I can blame it on being a social animal- trying to get into the group, or I could call it covetousness- trying to be like some one else. See, there's a group of people I know and whose lifestyle and interaction I envy. I keep asking myself, "Why can't I be in their group?" "Why don't they want to talk to me?" "How come they don't like me?" Why can't I, why don't they, how come, etc All traversing my mind faster than flies over dirt.

I envy the person, the group. Want what they have, try to speak like they do, dress like they do, talk like they do even when I know this is not really who I am. I end up doing what is unnatural to me because I want to behave right so as to be accepted. I want to blend in like a chameleone.

Sometimes it may be cornrows, other times a mohawk, dreads, other times a french cut or just shaolin. Changing the state of how we look so we can fit into the norm. That is putting on cosmetics.

I have been wasting time trying to be who I am not, trying to impress people who do not even notice the effort, people who are aware of who they are, others who are also following a band wagon. And now I am downcast, if not depressed. Instead of loving the man I am, I am loving the man I will never be. 

We put so much effort into cosmetics yet at the end of the day we wash it off! Such vanity. It is sad that the things we most covet are meaningless in light of our own lives, and more importantly in light of eternity.

Not everyone was meant to be my friend. Not every girl I like is supposed to be my wife. I cannot make everything fit into my life. Each clay pot has one unique design and usage. There is no way a pot can have more than one design and more than one use. This writer does this coz this is a perfect place. Maurice Kirya is not me. I am not Maurice Kirya.

Many times we think because some people's lives are magnified by some public machinery, then that is what everyone should be. Sadly it is not. It reminds me of that colt.

 And it came to pass, when he drew nigh unto Bethphage and Bethany, at the mount that is called the mount of Olives, he sent two of the disciples, saying, Go your way into the village over against you; in the which as ye enter ye shall find a colt tied, whereon no man ever yet sat: loose him, and bring him. And if any one ask you, Why do ye loose him? thus shall ye say, The Lord hath need of him.

And they that were sent went away, and found even as he had said unto them. And as they were loosing the colt, the owners thereof said unto them, Why loose ye the colt?
And they said, The Lord hath need of him.And they brought him to Jesus: and they threw their garments upon the colt, and set Jesus thereon.

As in?

Why is the colt even mentioned? Coz some of us have colt mentality. Tied up and never done any thing worth it. Young, inexperienced, over zealous...It is easy to fall into using cosmetics when one thinks they are not where they should be, or are not doing what they want to be doing. Waiting, of no apparent worth, such is what causes people like me to wear cosmetics. So because unlike a colt, we can easily untie ourselves and try and show off our moves, we wear lipstick.

In essence, how should we pray? I do not know. I just know that God does not demand that I be like you, or demand that I be liked by you, or be found in your group. I know God wants me to find my wholeness in Him. If it were that easy is one thing, but yes I can pray, so can you and I can search His Word. The Word shows that in a sea of variety of people, each one is unique, so no need for putting on cosmetics. Ask Moses, David, Daniel, Job, Samuel etc.

I say we stop wearing cosmetics. Let our beautiful righteousness in Him shine through instead. 

Php 3:9  and be found in Him; not having my own righteousness, which is of the Law, but through the faith of Christ, the righteousness of God by faith,