I wear lipstick

I hate to admit it, I do. However, it is true. I wear cosmetics.

There,  I said it. Go ahead and call me names- metrosexual, gay, whatever. I do not mind being called the names because I bet there are some of you reading this who are exactly like me. What do I mean? Yes, you also put them on. Wha?? Am I crazy? You've never worn lipstick, eye shadow, fake breasts, high heels, tight jeans and the like? Are you sure?!

I do it, sometimes without noticing, sometimes and most times very consciously! You may have done it. I struggle with it: Trying to fit in.

I can blame it on being a social animal- trying to get into the group, or I could call it covetousness- trying to be like some one else. See, there's a group of people I know and whose lifestyle and interaction I envy. I keep asking myself, "Why can't I be in their group?" "Why don't they want to talk to me?" "How come they don't like me?" Why can't I, why don't they, how come, etc All traversing my mind faster than flies over dirt.

I envy the person, the group. Want what they have, try to speak like they do, dress like they do, talk like they do even when I know this is not really who I am. I end up doing what is unnatural to me because I want to behave right so as to be accepted. I want to blend in like a chameleone.

Sometimes it may be cornrows, other times a mohawk, dreads, other times a french cut or just shaolin. Changing the state of how we look so we can fit into the norm. That is putting on cosmetics.

I have been wasting time trying to be who I am not, trying to impress people who do not even notice the effort, people who are aware of who they are, others who are also following a band wagon. And now I am downcast, if not depressed. Instead of loving the man I am, I am loving the man I will never be. 

We put so much effort into cosmetics yet at the end of the day we wash it off! Such vanity. It is sad that the things we most covet are meaningless in light of our own lives, and more importantly in light of eternity.

Not everyone was meant to be my friend. Not every girl I like is supposed to be my wife. I cannot make everything fit into my life. Each clay pot has one unique design and usage. There is no way a pot can have more than one design and more than one use. This writer does this coz this is a perfect place. Maurice Kirya is not me. I am not Maurice Kirya.

Many times we think because some people's lives are magnified by some public machinery, then that is what everyone should be. Sadly it is not. It reminds me of that colt.

 And it came to pass, when he drew nigh unto Bethphage and Bethany, at the mount that is called the mount of Olives, he sent two of the disciples, saying, Go your way into the village over against you; in the which as ye enter ye shall find a colt tied, whereon no man ever yet sat: loose him, and bring him. And if any one ask you, Why do ye loose him? thus shall ye say, The Lord hath need of him.

And they that were sent went away, and found even as he had said unto them. And as they were loosing the colt, the owners thereof said unto them, Why loose ye the colt?
And they said, The Lord hath need of him.And they brought him to Jesus: and they threw their garments upon the colt, and set Jesus thereon.

As in?

Why is the colt even mentioned? Coz some of us have colt mentality. Tied up and never done any thing worth it. Young, inexperienced, over zealous...It is easy to fall into using cosmetics when one thinks they are not where they should be, or are not doing what they want to be doing. Waiting, of no apparent worth, such is what causes people like me to wear cosmetics. So because unlike a colt, we can easily untie ourselves and try and show off our moves, we wear lipstick.

In essence, how should we pray? I do not know. I just know that God does not demand that I be like you, or demand that I be liked by you, or be found in your group. I know God wants me to find my wholeness in Him. If it were that easy is one thing, but yes I can pray, so can you and I can search His Word. The Word shows that in a sea of variety of people, each one is unique, so no need for putting on cosmetics. Ask Moses, David, Daniel, Job, Samuel etc.

I say we stop wearing cosmetics. Let our beautiful righteousness in Him shine through instead. 

Php 3:9  and be found in Him; not having my own righteousness, which is of the Law, but through the faith of Christ, the righteousness of God by faith,