For trusting God now

It is Monday morning 5.14 am. My bladder wakes me up, I need to go to the bathroom. I get up, out of the bed and go. I get back, knowing I rarely wake up at this time and thus looking at a great opportunity to do something i have not done in a long time.

My spirit is heavy, I wish there was something I could do to make it lighter. I open the book, but sleep is heavy upon my eyes. I read through the lines, trying to make sense of them but the mist upon my eyes is heavy. I sit up. I kneel. I lie down. Posture doesn't help.

I start to mumble somethings. They do not make sense. I have blackouts. After a small while of mumblings, it goes dark, my body curls up and I disappear. After a while, I reappear still mumbling nothings,.try to read the book..

Cycles of mumblings and misty eyes...finally I had to get out of bed. Today is a day I must face with the LORD.