Fighting God

Today I discovered or, re-learned that it is very easy to miss out on God's desired place for you when faith is omitted.

On my way to work, I usually get a lift from friends of mine but we do not stay in the same area. So, I get a taxi for a cost of about 500/- to the main road where I wait for them and they drop me near work. It saves me the energy of trekking from Cooper complex to City Square to get a taxi. Also, it is cheaper to get a taxi from where I am dropped off.

On this particular day, I was a bit late. The friends called to notify me they were on their way yet I had not even got a taxi and by now the taxis were taking ages to appear. I had prayed earlier on, that I would get a taxi and make it to the stage before my friends came.

I was late. A taxi showed up but it was already filled. Hmmmm. I thought to myself. That earlier prayer perhaps hasn't been answered, let me just get a boda boda. So a boda boda came along and I flagged him down, jumped on and was ferried along to the place. As we went we passed by two taxis coming along probably to pick more passengers but I thought, Nah, can't get off the boda, those taxis will not make it on time. I continued till destination and got off.  He took a kay. 

I was early now. Tihihi. So I began to wait. And then I noticed the traffic jam. The jam was incredible at that particular time, and I was not seeing these guys. I waited close to thirty minutes till they came.

Surely, if I had waited and entered a taxi, I would have got to the stage before my friends came as I had asked of God. Selah.

Later on at work. We are all busy at our desks, sending that email, inserting that piece of code, aligning a certain pixel when power goes off! Frankly, it is the third day it is happening in a row and it gets annoying working on generator, having to plug and unplug from the UPS. Quite frankly I was not impressed. So I said,

God, let power come back so we can work. Let it not go again. Right?

So, we wait till the guys decide the generator must come out. After plugging in everything, switching onto generator power, the power comes back! Hardly 3 minutes after unplugging from UPS! lol.

Isn't it weird that God answered both prayers even when I changed my mind? I call this fighting God. Asking God for help and then for one reason or another turning to your own means. Today, God heard both prayers, answered them too. However, my impatience caused me to labour and spend more than ought. You might say this is slight but God forbid I change my mind on big things I have prayed for! I may get the good thing from God but also waste my own strength trying to answer my prayer and fail.

Help me Father not pray and then try to answer my own prayer.

Why Hope Never Runs Dry.

Last night, I lay in my bed thinking, heart racing about the next day. It had been two months since I last went to work this year because I had been debilitated for that amount of time. I was anxious. I was breathing fast. I could not think straight. My joints were hurting a bit. I was really nervous about my first day of work this year.

Many years ago, while I was still in primary, I had similar days. There were those days when one was enjoying the holiday but had to finally quit slacking and get to school but then there were those days when again after suffering the debilitation, I would shudder at going back to school.

Good ole days

I would imagine how much they'd left me behind; what new conversation was going on that I was not aware of; were there mean new teachers? Was I going back during a test period? Would I do enough to be promoted to the next class?

Yes, the same way my heart raced in those days was the same way it raced yesterday. How much work will I find? Does my desk still exist? Will there be power? etc etc

I lay in bed without clear answers and could not stop this heart from racing! However, years ago considering the hurdles one would face, I wonder how I managed to continue going back to school (okay, parental guidance played a good part).

 Nonetheless I discovered that surrounded with an atmosphere of hope, one cannot help oneself but press on. It is about patient confidence that a time is at hand when what we hate will be gone and what we love will be eternal. It is about looking beyond the present conditions like pain, lack, rejection, failure to a place of contentment. It is the unseen bridge between where we are and where we want to be.

Without hope, a man is as good as dead. For hope presents an oxygen mask, a reason to endure the season, a light in a blanket of darkness. When a man sees no tomorrow, he has come to the end of life.

Interestingly though, hope can run dry. When one is a subject of recurring failure, pain, lack and sickness, it is possible to get to a place of doubt, sometimes frustration, many times anger, and most times depression and then make one give up the possibility of ever getting to the place they so much desire. This can happen especially when one's object is in themselves or the conditions prevailing or anticipated.

Hope placed upon changing things is risky for it might be exhausted. However when this  hope is placed upon an object that is unchangeable, unchanging then one can be sure and hope. 

 In this way desiring to declare more fully to the heirs of promise the immutability of His counsel, God interposed by an oath,  so that by two immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us, 

which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters into that within the veil, where the Forerunner has entered for us, even Jesus, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek. Heb 6:17-20 

With our hope in the eternal, the unchanging, the foundation : Jesus Christ, we have reason to wake up each day regardless of the pain, uncertainty, lack, disappointment and press on because we know our hope does not stop at the physical but extends into the unseen and the eternal. 

 And everyone who has this hope on him purifies himself, even as that One is pure. 1Jn3:3 

Why does hope never run dry? Jesus Christ. So then we wake up each day and look upon the day with a smile confident that our hope is sure and steady and that even if today we do not see deliverance, we shall see it inevitably, either in this life or in the eternal. 

In Pursuit of "Happy-ness"?

She's got a smile that glows like sunrise in a black and white photo. Once in a while, I catch a glimpse of it in full colour. And, it is beautiful. She does everything right She seems to do everything right because nothing she does in my eyes seems wrong. Even when she talks for hours on end, her voice keeps my heart listening.

I told God she is the right one. (Haha, as if I would know). Then I did a Fleece test on the issue, it seemed the fleece was in agreement too. Understand, a person in love will most times consider that feeling, the highest of all. She is all you think about; most of the time, if not all of the time. You want to please her in anyway possible, you want her to be safe with you.

Two things may happen. She might return the sentiment. She may not.

In the event that she does, two things might happen. The romance might endure till after marriage. Or, the romance  might go on till the start of the marriage. In the event that she doesn't, two things might also happen. You may move on. Or, you might wallow and blame the world for the unfairness!

Emotions are like horses. Without control, they are unsafe to ride.

Many seek the love of their lives like they're searching for a cure to a life threatening disease that kills in a few hours. Their hearts race like horses for the prize. Without him or her, life is a blank piece of canvas without meaning. Love  is beautiful, especially the kind of a man for a woman, it is, however, there is a more important matter in life.

There is a greater love. And not one orchestrated by man. John 3:16 " For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that everyone believing into Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. "

A wise young woman , Cinammon Ayikoru says "When I get to Heaven, the Lord will not ask me ''Why didn't you have a boyfriend? Why weren't you romancing?'' You see my creator and I , we will be having much bigger things to talk about....."

Eternity proves a more important thing than having a love of your life, especially if that love is not Jesus Christ Himself. Yes, I am not saying, abandon relationship- do not get married, what I am saying is if the pursuit of it is elusive and becomes more important than other things, especially Christ Jesus, then there is a problem.

I am waiting for her. Whether the fleece was right or not, time will tell. However, God knows everything- He is the beginning, the present, the end. In Him is contentment and peace. (Phil 4:11-12 --->Not that I speak as to need, for I have learned to be content in whatever state I am. Php 4:12  And I know to be humbled, and I know to abound; in everything, and in all things, I am taught both to be filled and to hunger, both to abound, and to lack. )

My life will not be judged on the love of my life, or on my choice of car, or on my education, rather on whether my robes were washed white in the blood of Jesus(Rev 7:14  And I said to him, Sir, you know. And he said to me, These are those coming out of the great tribulation; and they washed their robes and whitened them in the blood of the Lamb. ). Life in Him is above all ambition, all desire, all need. So, in pursuit of happy-ness, let Christ be the map, and not only that, the beginning, the journey and the final destination.

Amen.

Love, where is your fire?

Love, where is your fire?

No one says it better than Brooke Fraser. Love where is your fire? I've been sitting here smoking away...