Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Life goes on...in more than one weird way...

A failed attempt, dwindling finances, unkept promises, missed appointments blah and more blah. Life goes on in more than one weird way!


Deadline after deadline. Last breath after last breath. God is good. More time to finish the project. I just want to leave campus, I am now getting tired of it. Stress from all sides! Heart breaks here, work loads there, people everywhere. When does one get time alone? There was a day I just wanted to evanesce, to disappear, to go somewhere and not be found!! To be alone, by myself...to cry out tears- to shout out loud, to scream on top of my lungs...but I could not. There were people; people everywhere, no privacy! And where I thought I could get peace, maybe some joy, I discovered I was misunderstanding and not being understood the way I would have liked to be understood.

I do not want to feel stretched by the successes of people around me, but most times I can't help but notice. The other day I was musing, " I should be laughing at all my misfortunes but, it's not funny..." Sometimes I want to fly away or maybe just fall and not land, to be in a state of perfectness but how I have failed. The problem is that when one fails once too often, then he becomes aware that there is something really wrong with him! Take me for example...

So I said, what is better? A glass half empty or half full? I can't help but think that sometimes philosophy is for the young at experience for sometimes wise words even fail to make sense! Yet in all this, there are things that keep me on form- God, and laughter. God keeps you aware you have a purpose and that there is a good thing comin tomorrow. Laughter keeps the heart at ease.

But I must tell you that when you hear of heart broken peole saying food is no longer delicious and tea is not sweet- believe them; they are telling the truth. How do I know? I have been there. Food becomes hopelessly plain, something you just swallow!

Have I not said too much?

Questions are pending. someone can help me answer them;

*how long does one have to deal with failures in hope of success?


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