Thursday, April 28, 2011

April's end.

April has come to an end and several things have been happening in and around me.

I'm not participating in the walk to work protests not because I do not realise the inflation but because I recognise, walk to work is a sheep in wolf's clothing. Except the people who have been imprisoned, the young who have lost their lives needlessly, the property which has been destroyed- nothing good has come out of it. It is a platform where little known politicians are trying to get recognition, where those who have outlived their service and appeal are trying to regain favour, where the high use the low to their own ends.

However, that is not the only reason. I realise that I am not bound by the economies of the world being in this world but not of it. God says He shall supply my needs according to His riches in glory. And in this time, I realise that giving is better than receiving- that we should learn to share, learn to not hold back our hands but freely give, and our God is faithful- He loves a cheerful giver. I have learnt a lot about giving in this month and I know God is leading me into a place where I take giving opportunities just as seriously I would receiving opportunities.

You know how a street kid comes up to you and you have a programmed response to say you don't have? That should change- seeing as God gave us not because we deserved. Many of us like to qualify those we give, but that is not how God reached to us in His Son Jesus Christ. He gave regardless how we looked, how bad we were, how good we were- He gave. In this time of seeming inflation, perhaps learn to give, I am sure you will not regret it especially if it is with a cheerful heart.

I was able to complete the ten weeks new life class at Church and I am glad I finally did. After 3 or 4 years in this Church, I did get through that class and hope to go to the next level. It is not really about a certificate or accomplishing something but to me it is about being grounded and getting more involved in Church.

However even as I enjoyed the treasures of God, I had struggles too. I have gone through periods of Romans 7 where the good I want to do I do not, and the bad I would not do , I do. It is a classical sin that so easily besets. In my reading however, I discover that I need to reach the end of myself- I need to die. And yes I have been through this over and over but gracefully God keeps showing me I need to die. I need to reach the end of myself. I need to accept my blindness so Christ can give me sight. It is a struggle I wish I did not have but God is not wasteful. In everything He sees the opportunity to grow me and the things I have learnt from this struggle are invaluable.

As for the crushes I have now and again, this time I think I have learnt to value them less. I have learnt the art of the background study, the counting of the cost. Not making mountain of mole hills and it has helped.

Work. New challenges, my prayer is to rise up to them with inventiveness.

I am waiting for July, for a special reason. Will holla when the time comes.

I also saw my first play in a long time with a dear recently- The Twelfth Night- it was such a dreamy experience- as if I was in heaven. Loved every moment.

Friend of mine got married. Now I also want to get married. Why? Because I know it is possible. lol. Anyway, God knows how mine will happen.

Things I need to work on this month are giving and obeying. So help me God.
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