Growing

I have a feeling that I might have exchanged skills over the past few months. Why is it much harder to write a post than design a graphic? Anyway, given that much of my writing is deeply connected to my emotional, spiritual and mental state, I think this is witness that the waves present before are really declining.

A note to the past era of girls.

It is sad that when I was willing, you were not, when I was ready, you were tired, when I was in love, you had resentment. It is sad that now you're on the road and I'm on the mountain, that you yearn for flowers yet I am a garden.

Phase out. Gone. I am a stage in life that you missed. I am not coming back.

You know what freedom is? Looking at you and not even twitching. So, --> we move as Nkrumah my man said. I guess we'll be neighbours very soon.

Love you? Yes, I do.

Thank God I am growing.

Love song

I made the heavens farther than the eye can see
Placed the stars in the sky, made the moon shine brightly
Woke you up with the sun shining through your window
Sing you a serenade every time the wind blows

See the earth in all of it's beauty
It all came from Me
Take the time to look above
And you'll know, you can't sing about love
Without singin' bout me

Singin' bout Me
Without singin' bout Me

I made the clouds, even the air you breathe
Made you in My image, so that you can be like Me
My love is sweet, more to make you happy
Such joy and peace, wanna give you all of Me
It's the reason why you smile
It makes livin' all worth while
It would bring tears to your eyes

So how you gon' sing about love, without singin' 'bout Me?

Canton Jones

It's time to stand

Eph 5:8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord; walk as children of light

What good is a man whose mind is like a river, tossed too and fro by the wind? He is the man, whose feet are not standing on sure ground. He tries to walk on the water [it's a story he heard]; he is the man swayed to and fro by the winds of the world

If you could plant your roots by the river side, that they would grow deep into the nutritious ground, maybe when the winds pull you to their wiles, this time you will stay upright, and not bend to their lies.

Every new thought is a piece in the jigsaw of purpose. Who I am? Why I am here? And why did I have to go through this? And they sway him wherever they go...

[Lookin for love in all the wrong places just to find someone who can erase the hurt and if u could you'd get a potion- the love of God goes deeper than an ocean. lookin for love u know that i can show you cus' what I've found goes on and on and on and u never have to worry about it being gone] ...

Who knows where the hurt came from? The pain? Why is the man always trying to fill a gap? Maybe it explains his constant sway. Grasping at empty words, empty phrases; smoke, just vapour, holding onto nothingness. Laws and regulations give him newer questions, newer conflicts, so the jigsaw only gets complicated.

Time to stand man. Time to stand firm. Time to let go of the milk, leave momma's worn out breasts. It's time man; time to eat meat, time to let the things of the children go. It is time, to be man.

Baseline:Eph 6:11,13 Put on the whole armor of God so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. Therefore take to yourselves the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

Weekend wrap.

Friday 1400hrs. I receive a call from client saying I need to go meet him. I had no plans of going back to town having been there in the morning and having seen a client who attempted to get my services at 70k. [Let me not confuse you-the two clients are different]. For purposes of clarity let me call the 70k dude [grossnjawulo]. I am referred to him by a friend and told that he needs a website. So I go to meet him, I am so on time and he is so late, I actually got to his place of work 30 minutes before he did.

So [grossnjawulo] has been given an assignment to work on getting a website for one NGO up and running. He tells me he has an idea of how he wants it to appear and shows me a number of [lacklustre] websites he is getting ideas from. He inquires about hosting and I refer him to a very good hosting website and will cost him around 130,000/-. So after that is finished we proceed to talk about design fees. I tell him my [design fee] and brother man says that it is too much! He tells me he was thinking of spending 200,000 in total.

200,000/- in total.

I hope he made a mistake and tell him that would be enough for hosting. He says, it includes design fees! He begins to convince me how things will get better when the site is up and running and also says that since he thought he was dealing with an individual designer not a company, he would not be charged [that much]! Inside, I am laughing hilariously.

[Grossnjawulo] is obviously trying to make a cut, and he wants to squeeze the designer to get his cut. I would like to think the NGO has particular funds set aside for website and that the fees are standard. What I did not tell the brother was that a company could have charged him many times what I was charging him but the laughter inside jammed. So [grossnjawulo] wanted to pay me 70k for designing a website. I left with his number promising to get back to him, which reminds me, I did not move with his business card so guess the response will delay.

What do people think we are anyway? Charitable organisations?

So the call at 1400hrs. Client2, let us call him [grossnagging]. He had promised some sort of payment by end of the week, so when I get his phone call I am excited because he is telling me to go over.

By now I am excited, almost forgetting [grossnjawulo]'s silly deal. When I get there, [grossnagging] calls his business partner reminding him that everyone was present. I could only assume this was pay day because there were other people expecting dimes or that's what I thought at least.

When he comes, we are told to go and so it seems they are looking for a hideout to distribute dimes to the guys. So we get to one, he orders sodas and then guess what happens, files come out and the words -let us start the meeting- sound. We start, talk about the work we're doing, challenges and stuff, which includes payment. As we talk on, I am waiting for the dude to announce that our dimes are now here; however, I wait in vain, as we are promised nothing is coming soon.

Frustrated? Yes. Depressed? No. I am looking forward to the weekend and seems now money supply has been cut. The PIFF party looks hazy for now. However, there is some light- promise of IronMan2 Saturday! All I need is half the amount.

Saturday comes,fast forward----->>>>> 7pm-9pm. Pure FUN!!! Jon Favreau, merci beaucoup.

Sunday's rain, did a good job in demotivating me from going to Daddy's house however, I needed to go for the BASIC Family fellowship.
aLL, I can say is, that family is a blessing. Y'all can come visit us next time- June 6th. You will have a good time.

I have a million tasks to complete before tomorrow, I have not half started on any but after this, I am going to. Talking about clients, employers and employees, today's baseline is for you to be motivated to work.

BASELINE: Ephesians 6:5-8
Slaves, be obedient to those who are your earthly masters, with fear and trembling,in singleness of heart, as to Christ; not in the way of eye-service, as men-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, rendering service with a goodwill as to the Lord, and not to men, knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same again from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free. [RSV]

Sense and sensibility.

First, that is a book I have never read but whose title I have read...whatever proceeds from here forthwith may have no connection whatsoever to that said book title.

Since my life is not unusual any more; meaning, there is nothing out of the ordinary happening in my life-wait is this a fly? ! The thing has just gone under my monitor, it looks like it is inspecting ...whoah!! Fly!! Get outta my face! Fly, please?! This is not your space. Psshhhh!! Little winged ....

What was I saying? Oh yes, my quotidian life. Forget the fly interrupting my peaceful morning, that is an anomaly.Anyway, I was just about to tell you that my life is steadying out, the ups and downs are fading out. Drama just got evicted. In fact, safyre is opining mbu even the Mr nice guy died, mbu he may even have died a quick and painless death; whether it is true remains to be seen...

Ah! C'mon, just when I am getting into blog zone! Errands!

I will come back.

No one talks about BHH anymore...and love gone bad

and do you know why? It is because all the talking happens on twitter these days. What happened to the rave reviews of over 40 comments on the reports of BHH? And days building up to the excitement as well...from the King's site to the Basix, the Antipop, the Innocent etc... And as if that is not enough, formerly regular bloggers are not regular at their posts but anyway let me speak for myself.

I went to BHH, albeit arriving fashionably. Was not really my fault, I was with Safyre who convinced me that BHH had moved to Centenary gardens. We took our time, actually walked there after failing to successfully get a boda guy to take the two of us at 1.5k, but that is not important because we eventually got to Mateos.

Rhino, MarkBulamu of Normzo, Normzo, Johnny, Darlene, Baz, the King, Diana, Streetsider, SleekandWild, Heaven, (the damsel whose name I have failed to pronounce, in spects), (the other damsel seated next to Rhino), Ole,Spartacuss, Lulu (and her friend), Antipop, Ivan,Safyre, have I forgotten anyone?

Surprisingly Rev did not turn up, neither did Detamble. The Risingpage as usual did not make it.

It was a good crowd though conversations were less general.

Now that I have told you a bit about the BHH, maybe I shall repent of my blogcks and be a good blogger again starting with venting.

Have you ever felt scattered? Like you have bits and pieces of you all around the place? I do,it's that thing about letting go and moving on- reaching a point and discovering you gave a good part of yourself away to temporal insatiable things. It bugs. It's like learning an ex is getting married, or has a new boyfriend or is hanging out with a hot guy. Or learning that you put your cards on the wrong horse. It sucks.

It's when you learn you have been futile in your thinking and have trusted man, when you learn the world is no Neverland, that it is a brutal Spartan war field, where there are no rules. When you learn that truly people (myself included) are liars, pretenders, murderers and heartless, that people are selfish and think of themselves above all.

It is sad yet not without redemption. Forgiveness is one of the toughest things in life- letting go, saying it is okay and truly meaning it. It takes God, He alone is the author of love, and forgiveness. If God can do it, and I [Col 1:12 Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light:
Col 1:13 Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son: ] having been transferred into His light, then I know I am empowered to.

Those sucker punches, like when everyone else knows your ex is getting married and you know nothing, need not hurt anymore. Ha! You think it is easy? No, it is not. It takes courage and faith, it takes God's grace, it takes committment to be healed. That courage and faith that pushes through the crowd and touches the hem; that grace that after seeing you lowered through a roof says your sins are forgiven, you are well; that committment that shouts out in the crowds and says Son of Man heal me when everyone else tries to push you away.

You see, originally, I had come to vent but God has His ways. And anyway, God makes everything beautiful in its own time [Ecc 3:11 He has made everything beautiful in its time]; He cares more than anyone does-that love is the most important, and the one that needs to be grown most.

Baseline: Eph 3:17-19 that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth and length and depth and height, and to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge, that you might be filled with all the fullness of God.