Most times, like now, I really have no idea how I should start my blog. It has been too long since I actually sat and thought of what to write. Some of my previous posts have been song lyrics which I love but apart from that, blogging has been sidelined but here I am, let's see how this goes...
I have not been to any BHH since this year started so you prolly do not know that now I have a cool black goatee and improved English; next time I appear at the BHH I will surely try to fit in with all you interektchos and your Ingo-lisho!!
To my shame, I have not seen the inside of Watoto Church either since January, and you must be wondering, why is my life fallin apart? Of late I have not been too enthusiastic about doing Sunday or Sato service. My Sato's usually find me visiting friends and my Sundays are spent mostly in bed too ward of fatigue. I have been doing a lot of things since Feb, work especially is hard coz the dude whose stuff I am working on can be demanding. Dude changes his mind ever so often..
But I don't mean to cut Church, maybe I have grown "ekitwe" and think I have heard it all but no... I actually endeavour to go for cell, every Wednesday, and cell always rocks. Somehow I need new gas for Church, new verve, new fire, yes...I do.
I couldn't help but laugh as I read all the posts on Valentine's day; serakelz's post unhinged me from ignorance as I learnt new things about women. This day was awesome, I got to see a friend of mine- his chickilovely baiby had just given him a new born baby, a son and oh, how precious that boy is! I couldn't believe, this boy who we used to study,talk,play with all the way from 2000 was now a daddy! Whoah!!
Sadly sometime later, another close friend of mine lost his brother, his only brother and it was one of those things that sobers you up. I got a chance to be there for him and just be a friend as he went through the sorrow.
Those two friends of mine are both engaged, guys we played Mortal Kombat on PS consoles with at Guild Canteen while we were still bu young guys at MACOS. Time has shifted seriously...
I made a new friend too. Amazing what you miss out when you do not reach out and talk to somebody...it was Valentine's day when we hooked up but seeing as she isn't a fan of the day, we had to celebrate somethin else...after a month it's been awesome. What we celebrated was called "Mwanzo Amitie". Friends go a long way in keeping me sane, I thank God for all of them.
Work is hectic, I do two jobs, so man... I really cannot wait to become rich.
By the way, before I forget, I am invitin all who want to come for an evening of pork, n'ebigenderako, music, people later this month on 27th in Kisaasi. Just 10k. U can hand over yo dime before 25th, just call me- 0714005045.
I had a lot to say but did not say it all. Just pray that this is the month God scatters all my enemies and renews the fire on my heart.
Peace out.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Every Prayer
Every Prayer
I heard 'em say He brought me from a mighty long way
And now today I can testify that I believe it
And on my way I realized He's the one who kept me
When the storms of life arise, sleepless nights and desperate cries
He has captured every tear assuring me He hears
Every prayer, waiting on the answer only to discover He is near
And He hears every prayer for He has done great things
And I believe He's a God that always answers prayer
I heard 'em say the prayers of the righteous availeth much
And now today I can testify that I believe it
Now on my way I wanna let you know that He will keep you
When the storms of life arise, sleepless nights and desperate cries
He's captured every tear assuring me that He hears
Every prayer, waiting on the answer only to discover He is near
And He hears every prayer for He has done great things
I believe He's a God that always answers prayer
Don't despise the tears you've cried
Or the prayers that you have prayed
Heaven heard your every word
And the answer, the answer's on the way
I heard 'em say there is an answer on the way
My God has done so many great things, great things
Hold on and you will see there is an answer on the way
My God has done so many great things, great things
Oh, there is an answer on the way
My God has done so many great things, great things
Hold on, hold on, there is an answer on the way
My God has done so many great things, great things
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
You can make it, you can make it
You can make it for he has done great things
I believe He's a God that always
I believe He's a God that always
I believe He's a God who always answers prayers
Yes, He does
Israel Houghton feat Mary Mary
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Midnight Serenade
The lights are out, everyone's asleep
But I know I should draw, from my well so deep;
To give you of the elixir, this honey I keep,
It's no good for me alone, so I offer to thee.
Let go of those tears, those you wept out at night
Forget those fears, those ghosts of hind sight;
Put a smile on your face, your personal half yellow sun,
A new day has come, it's now safe to not run.
Let your wings be colourful, and ornate like a butterfly
Let your joy be calm and warm, like a firefly;
Spread out your arms, like a child, fly free
Open your eyes again, there are sunsets and rainbows to see.
Have faith and take a step, into these longing arms
They long to have and hold, release you from olden harm;
So while the lights are out, while eyes drift to lands of charm
My heart is right here with you, off'ring this midnight Psalm.
Yours truly,
Nev.
~Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer~
Anon.
For Double A.
But I know I should draw, from my well so deep;
To give you of the elixir, this honey I keep,
It's no good for me alone, so I offer to thee.
Let go of those tears, those you wept out at night
Forget those fears, those ghosts of hind sight;
Put a smile on your face, your personal half yellow sun,
A new day has come, it's now safe to not run.
Let your wings be colourful, and ornate like a butterfly
Let your joy be calm and warm, like a firefly;
Spread out your arms, like a child, fly free
Open your eyes again, there are sunsets and rainbows to see.
Have faith and take a step, into these longing arms
They long to have and hold, release you from olden harm;
So while the lights are out, while eyes drift to lands of charm
My heart is right here with you, off'ring this midnight Psalm.
Yours truly,
Nev.
~Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer~
Anon.
For Double A.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Not my boast.
He calls me wolverine
This brother of mine,
His mind is convinced that man was I.
Bullet shots in the head,
Slashes on my skin
Every battle he enters, he surely must win.
I'm not new to terror
Not new to blades,
I shine like the orion and glow like the Pleiades .
I've been through the fire
Waded through the floods
Still I can leap and soar like the birds.
Been shot and wounded
Left alone to die
But I still got up and headed for the skies.
But be slow with your judgement
I'm not that strong at all
I don't want you to think I am standing tall.
I give it up for my saviour
Give it up for my Lord
Who else can take me through the narrow road?
He is my light
He is my fire
The only one able to lift me higher.
He's been here in the mud and the mire
Here in the blazing hot fires,
Here when no one else could be my brother.
And His light lives in many of us,
In Jesus, still growing, knowing more of Him;
Doesn't matter how small your light is-
A flicker, a glow, a big bright glare,
As long as you have that little light in you,
Go on my friend and you just let it shine.
This brother of mine,
His mind is convinced that man was I.
Bullet shots in the head,
Slashes on my skin
Every battle he enters, he surely must win.
I'm not new to terror
Not new to blades,
I shine like the orion and glow like the Pleiades .
I've been through the fire
Waded through the floods
Still I can leap and soar like the birds.
Been shot and wounded
Left alone to die
But I still got up and headed for the skies.
But be slow with your judgement
I'm not that strong at all
I don't want you to think I am standing tall.
I give it up for my saviour
Give it up for my Lord
Who else can take me through the narrow road?
He is my light
He is my fire
The only one able to lift me higher.
He's been here in the mud and the mire
Here in the blazing hot fires,
Here when no one else could be my brother.
And His light lives in many of us,
In Jesus, still growing, knowing more of Him;
Doesn't matter how small your light is-
A flicker, a glow, a big bright glare,
As long as you have that little light in you,
Go on my friend and you just let it shine.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Right/Wrong
I don't care what people thing or say about DMX, I love him. I like this song, thought, I should share it.
"Right / Wrong"
THIS...IS...MY...LIFE
[Chorus]
(Right and wrong)
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
[Verse 1]
Made me a leader before I was ready to lead.
Took away my hunger, but didn't give me greed.
Made me successful, when I just wanted to be heard.
Give me the light, cause all I need is the word.
Give me a life that I'm responsible for.
I'll give him what's right, cause I'm responsible for him.
And into the night, I'm gonna be there with him.
Facing a fight, I be right there with him.
Ready for Heaven, cause I done been through the Hell.
And since I was seven, I've had a story to tell.
See God is great, and that's why I'm still livin'.
He gave to me, so I'ma keep on givin'.
The bravery of a man's mind is slavery.
Is makin me the man I was made to be.
I hate to see when cats know but don't spit it.
Right is wrong, when it's on you gon get it.
[Chorus]
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
[Verse 2]
I wake up frustrated dog, I'm hurtin' inside.
Think about the brothers that put in, work and then died.
A certain have tried, a certain have cried.
When it didn't go right, you hit me like.
You see things ain't always what they seem to be.
And the reason I dream of thee is He's with me.
And the reason I get through things so easily.
Is by the grace of God cause he, see's the need to guide me.
Walk right beside me.
Because he knows what's goin on inside me, he tried me.
Knew where my heart was at.
Knew what I was thinkin.
Knew when I was down and out, left there mistaken.
Knew when to pick me up, cause it got too hard.
Knew when I was gonna scream out "Please God!".
And you already knew that you would be there for me.
That's why I bring you together to give you the glory.
[Chorus]
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
[Verse 3]
Everyday of life is a new chapter.
And it's already been foretold, so it's up to the soul to capture.
The essence of it all, the meek shall inherit the earth.
Destined to ride with the call from birth.
The true worth of a man, is not measured by what he does for himself,
but what he does for someone else.
And if you help another, without concern for a reward or gold.
What you give, you shall receive tenfold.
And I, put that on my soul.
And, put that on my life.
And, everything I own.
And, everything I know.
And, everything I show is what I was meant to do.
Everything I told you is what I've been through.
And everwhere I been, I was for a reason.
Walk through the desert, ended up freezin.
Start there, end up where?
And now they know...whatever which way they go.
[Chorus]
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go.
They know they gonna owe.
They soul to the road they choose.
It don't matter if you win or lose.
You still gotta pay them dues.
You still gotta pay them dues.
You still gotta pay them dues.
DMX
"Right / Wrong"
THIS...IS...MY...LIFE
[Chorus]
(Right and wrong)
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
[Verse 1]
Made me a leader before I was ready to lead.
Took away my hunger, but didn't give me greed.
Made me successful, when I just wanted to be heard.
Give me the light, cause all I need is the word.
Give me a life that I'm responsible for.
I'll give him what's right, cause I'm responsible for him.
And into the night, I'm gonna be there with him.
Facing a fight, I be right there with him.
Ready for Heaven, cause I done been through the Hell.
And since I was seven, I've had a story to tell.
See God is great, and that's why I'm still livin'.
He gave to me, so I'ma keep on givin'.
The bravery of a man's mind is slavery.
Is makin me the man I was made to be.
I hate to see when cats know but don't spit it.
Right is wrong, when it's on you gon get it.
[Chorus]
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
[Verse 2]
I wake up frustrated dog, I'm hurtin' inside.
Think about the brothers that put in, work and then died.
A certain have tried, a certain have cried.
When it didn't go right, you hit me like.
You see things ain't always what they seem to be.
And the reason I dream of thee is He's with me.
And the reason I get through things so easily.
Is by the grace of God cause he, see's the need to guide me.
Walk right beside me.
Because he knows what's goin on inside me, he tried me.
Knew where my heart was at.
Knew what I was thinkin.
Knew when I was down and out, left there mistaken.
Knew when to pick me up, cause it got too hard.
Knew when I was gonna scream out "Please God!".
And you already knew that you would be there for me.
That's why I bring you together to give you the glory.
[Chorus]
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
[Verse 3]
Everyday of life is a new chapter.
And it's already been foretold, so it's up to the soul to capture.
The essence of it all, the meek shall inherit the earth.
Destined to ride with the call from birth.
The true worth of a man, is not measured by what he does for himself,
but what he does for someone else.
And if you help another, without concern for a reward or gold.
What you give, you shall receive tenfold.
And I, put that on my soul.
And, put that on my life.
And, everything I own.
And, everything I know.
And, everything I show is what I was meant to do.
Everything I told you is what I've been through.
And everwhere I been, I was for a reason.
Walk through the desert, ended up freezin.
Start there, end up where?
And now they know...whatever which way they go.
[Chorus]
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go (right and wrong).
Whatever which way they go.
They know they gonna owe.
They soul to the road they choose.
It don't matter if you win or lose.
You still gotta pay them dues.
You still gotta pay them dues.
You still gotta pay them dues.
DMX
Monday, February 15, 2010
Love Letter 6; Her Prayer
And then she prayed to God;
Our father who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name,
‘Coz only you understand this crazy love game,
Lord give me today, a fine ass brother,
‘Coz the ones I’ve met so far, are all wrong numbers.
Lord I don’t care if he’s a baller,
Or six feet taller just let him know,
A woman’s worth or else,
I’ll kick his ass to the curb.
Give me a brother with game,
One who won’t be afraid to proclaim your name.
I know this sounds a bit insane,
But even Abraham asked and you gave.
Lord let him know I’m not some gold digger,
And that I just love things romantic and simple.
Lord let him know when to call, when to text,
And when to just shut up ‘coz I might be on PMS…
Lord show him how to love me,
‘Coz so far I haven’t seen a manual for this.
Lord teach him how to put me before his needs,
I know this may sound selfish,
But can you blame me?
Lord give him strength to handle me,
‘Coz sometimes I’m overpowered by my crazy mood swings.
There will be times I will give him the silent treatment,
But Lord give him the patience to stand by me.
Lord help him understand, that just ‘coz I don’t cook,
It doesn’t mean I can’t, sometimes I’m just not in the mood.
Lord forgive me my trespasses in advance,
That’s if I meet him and forget you were my first.
I’ll try my best to put you before all else,
‘Coz if it’s not about you, then the love has failed the test.
Lead me not into temptation,
‘Coz there’ll be times I want to go all the way,
Even when I know it’s 'wait ’ I’m supposed to say.
Lord let him not be a player,
And if he is let him be retired.
Lord let him be on time on our first date,
‘Coz I don’t want a man who’ll make me wait.
Lord deliver me from evil,
So, keep away those brothers,
Who will lead me astray from your will.
Lord let him understand that everyone makes mistakes,
And I don’t expect him to be perfect.
Lord I know I’ve asked for way too much,
But you say in your word to ask…
One last thing Lord,
I know I’ve told you what I want
But please give me the man that you know I need.
Because it’s in Jesus’ name that I’ve prayed,
AMEN.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
She Writes; Love Letter 5
She writes to him;
To the one I long for; the man I will one day call my husband,
Yesterday I thought about you, about who you are and what you look like, about where you might be and if you think of me. I smiled because you might not know this but I'm deeply in love with you already.
I've gone through a lot of trial and error and got my heart torn. I thought I'd met you in so many other men but I realized they weren't you. I still believe you are out there somewhere; I know that you are the one God has kept me for; the one God fashioned for me.
I'm writing you this letter to let you know that one day we will be together, when we will realize that all the heartache from past relationships and all the sacrifices we've made were all worth it, that love is real, that it can be perfect, it can be patient and unconditional, that it can hope in the impossible and endure the most painful. Sometimes i find myself scared that you will be like other men I've met, but perfect love casts out fear, so i will not fear but I wait for that time i will experience your love.
Yesterday I thought about you, about who you are and what you look like, about where you might be and if you think of me. I smiled because you might not know this but I'm deeply in love with you already.
I've gone through a lot of trial and error and got my heart torn. I thought I'd met you in so many other men but I realized they weren't you. I still believe you are out there somewhere; I know that you are the one God has kept me for; the one God fashioned for me.
I'm writing you this letter to let you know that one day we will be together, when we will realize that all the heartache from past relationships and all the sacrifices we've made were all worth it, that love is real, that it can be perfect, it can be patient and unconditional, that it can hope in the impossible and endure the most painful. Sometimes i find myself scared that you will be like other men I've met, but perfect love casts out fear, so i will not fear but I wait for that time i will experience your love.
It may be a year, a month or two but I promise to wait for you; I will wait for you even if the wait is long and hard. I will wait.
And when I finally have you in my arms hun’, I want to spend this life with you, through the ups and downs, in sickness and in health. I want to have your babies; God knows I'm scared of all that pain, but I want to raise a family with you, for us to grow old together till you lose your memory or till I can't walk. I want to have you till death does us apart. That is how much I already love you.
Mama said when I meet you I will know it is you. In the meantime I will keep praying for you as I long and desire to finally be your wife and the first thing I will ask is ‘what took you too long?’
Love you.
Her
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Love Letter 4
Feb 10th, 2010
My love,-to the girl I will one day call my own,
I woke up with a fresh body, fresh mind. Given that last night I was on the verge of falling very sick, it feels good to be alive, strong and hopeful. The sun is also shining, first time the morning is this golden since Friday. I hope you're fine.
Josh, a few weeks ago remarked and said that
Love can be pain, I choose not to let it be. Honey, love is perfect, people are not. Sometimes we hurt each other, willingly or unwillingly. I may have said words that broke your heart, may have done things that annoyed you but deep down you know if I could, I would take them back because I love you.
Love doesn't play by the rules, lol, yeah I had to laugh. Why? Sometimes love won't let me follow my head, sometimes it makes me follow your voice, your heart beat, your touch.. lol. I love love, because love is beautiful.
You see, they say when love settles in ones heart, a cliff becomes a meadow; baby I can fall and not mind.
I know when you hurt me, it was painful,is always painful- like someone scraping my heart with barbed wire. It seethes to the core, gives me simmers in the head- it is painful but love endures, I believe it does- my utopian heart believes it. I love you; the pain is an itch that passes, because love is an elixir of life.
I love you baby, now, then, forever... I love you- you're the endless song in my heart.
Yours sincerely,
Your love,
Purple Heart
PH.
Love Letter 1, Love Letter 2, Love Letter 3
My love,-to the girl I will one day call my own,
I woke up with a fresh body, fresh mind. Given that last night I was on the verge of falling very sick, it feels good to be alive, strong and hopeful. The sun is also shining, first time the morning is this golden since Friday. I hope you're fine.
Josh, a few weeks ago remarked and said that
"*sigh* Love?
A while ago I would have told you that "love is gain and pain is gain which means that love is pain"...but well, I guess it all depends on how you perceive it and take it.
And I think I was wrong..."
Love can be pain, I choose not to let it be. Honey, love is perfect, people are not. Sometimes we hurt each other, willingly or unwillingly. I may have said words that broke your heart, may have done things that annoyed you but deep down you know if I could, I would take them back because I love you.
Love doesn't play by the rules, lol, yeah I had to laugh. Why? Sometimes love won't let me follow my head, sometimes it makes me follow your voice, your heart beat, your touch.. lol. I love love, because love is beautiful.
You see, they say when love settles in ones heart, a cliff becomes a meadow; baby I can fall and not mind.
I know when you hurt me, it was painful,is always painful- like someone scraping my heart with barbed wire. It seethes to the core, gives me simmers in the head- it is painful but love endures, I believe it does- my utopian heart believes it. I love you; the pain is an itch that passes, because love is an elixir of life.
I love you baby, now, then, forever... I love you- you're the endless song in my heart.
Yours sincerely,
Your love,
Purple Heart
PH.
Love Letter 1, Love Letter 2, Love Letter 3
Sunday, February 07, 2010
Love Letter 3
7th Feb 2010
My love,-to the girl I will one day call my own,
Like I said before,
Chocolate caramel hazel nut cake…the sweetest thing in the world could never compare to you. You should know what you have done to me- you have cast a spell over my heart, over my eyes.
None is as beautiful as you, no one’s eyes draw me as yours, no one’s touch is a soft as yours, no one’s laughter is as full as yours. There are many beauty queens, many damsels; I know none of their beauty compares to you- you are the most beautiful one in this world.
There are drops of honey dew on your heart, I want more. I want more of that joy in your heart that puts laughter in mine; more of the colour in your eyes that puts a glow in mine. I want to hear more of that voice that calms the raging fires in my heart. I want more.
I thought at one point maybe I would stop. I thought I would stop finding pleasure in your presence: your heart beating against mine, your fingers curled in mine, your eyes that glitter like the stars. Can one get enough of love? Your voice…do you know what it could do to me? My chest becomes a hot spring, bubbling endlessly at the sound of that angelic cadence. There are days when we are on the phone, those days when you are sleepy, and when I’m sleepy too, but none wants to hang up….once you told me to keep talking, that you want my voice to be the last thing you hear- how can I want that to stop?
Love is a river, the waters keep flowing.
They say the first cut is the deepest, I would rather disagree. The first cut is the most painful, especially when she told me she didn’t love me; when she said she didn’t feel the way I felt. However, when the wound healed, and God poured His healing oil, the pain was gone, forever…it is you I love, it is you I will love with my all.
You are my heart beat, my present thought. You’re the red roses I see everyday, fresh and vivid, you’re the delight of this soul. My heart pours out verses from the depths for you. My love for you is a river flowing without end, attempts to dry it up are in vain.
You, my dear, know how I feel. I love you.
Yours sincerely,
Your love,
Purple Heart
PH.
Love Letter 1, Love Letter 2
My love,-to the girl I will one day call my own,
Like I said before,
"Let us not be like stained glass windows, pleasant to look at but impossible to look through and let us not be like gems, trophies for viewing pleasure but lacking soul.
You, I want to bare my soul to- to express all I have inside me-the raging volcanoes, the simmering springs and placid pools."
Chocolate caramel hazel nut cake…the sweetest thing in the world could never compare to you. You should know what you have done to me- you have cast a spell over my heart, over my eyes.
None is as beautiful as you, no one’s eyes draw me as yours, no one’s touch is a soft as yours, no one’s laughter is as full as yours. There are many beauty queens, many damsels; I know none of their beauty compares to you- you are the most beautiful one in this world.
There are drops of honey dew on your heart, I want more. I want more of that joy in your heart that puts laughter in mine; more of the colour in your eyes that puts a glow in mine. I want to hear more of that voice that calms the raging fires in my heart. I want more.
I thought at one point maybe I would stop. I thought I would stop finding pleasure in your presence: your heart beating against mine, your fingers curled in mine, your eyes that glitter like the stars. Can one get enough of love? Your voice…do you know what it could do to me? My chest becomes a hot spring, bubbling endlessly at the sound of that angelic cadence. There are days when we are on the phone, those days when you are sleepy, and when I’m sleepy too, but none wants to hang up….once you told me to keep talking, that you want my voice to be the last thing you hear- how can I want that to stop?
Love is a river, the waters keep flowing.
They say the first cut is the deepest, I would rather disagree. The first cut is the most painful, especially when she told me she didn’t love me; when she said she didn’t feel the way I felt. However, when the wound healed, and God poured His healing oil, the pain was gone, forever…it is you I love, it is you I will love with my all.
You are my heart beat, my present thought. You’re the red roses I see everyday, fresh and vivid, you’re the delight of this soul. My heart pours out verses from the depths for you. My love for you is a river flowing without end, attempts to dry it up are in vain.
You, my dear, know how I feel. I love you.
Where there is love there is no darkness. ~Burundian Proverb
Yours sincerely,
Your love,
Purple Heart
PH.
Love Letter 1, Love Letter 2
Saturday, February 06, 2010
Love Letter 2
Feb 6th 2010
My love,to the girl I will one day call my own
Do they ever well up in you? Waters. Fires. Winds of love? Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and have my name on your lips? Do the waters sometimes leak through your eyes, like they do mine? Surrounded, immersed in waves of complete emotion.
It's a cold morning, the rain has been falling since I woke up...the skies cry with me you know. Since you've been away, there have been clouds forming, and now they've broken. The moment we parted has been imprinted on my mind. I cannot see anything else apart from your eyes, can't hear anything else apart from your voice...you have bound me to you more by this separation.
I long to see you again.
But I do not know. How do you feel? I asked you before, am I seeing wraiths or actual pictures of love? I suspect the way you feel- the way you say my name is different, the way you look at me, the way you touch me, the way you hug me.... It cannot just be that we're friends? COuld it?
Still, my heart goes forth. I cannot go back. You have set me on a journey with no looking back.... Either culminates into requited passion or you leave me withered as a leaf fallen off a tree...
Do you love me?
Yours sincerely,
Your love,
Purple Heart
PH.
My love,to the girl I will one day call my own
Do they ever well up in you? Waters. Fires. Winds of love? Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and have my name on your lips? Do the waters sometimes leak through your eyes, like they do mine? Surrounded, immersed in waves of complete emotion.
It's a cold morning, the rain has been falling since I woke up...the skies cry with me you know. Since you've been away, there have been clouds forming, and now they've broken. The moment we parted has been imprinted on my mind. I cannot see anything else apart from your eyes, can't hear anything else apart from your voice...you have bound me to you more by this separation.
I long to see you again.
But I do not know. How do you feel? I asked you before, am I seeing wraiths or actual pictures of love? I suspect the way you feel- the way you say my name is different, the way you look at me, the way you touch me, the way you hug me.... It cannot just be that we're friends? COuld it?
Still, my heart goes forth. I cannot go back. You have set me on a journey with no looking back.... Either culminates into requited passion or you leave me withered as a leaf fallen off a tree...
Do you love me?
Yours sincerely,
Your love,
Purple Heart
PH.
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Love letter 1
3rd Feb 2010
My love,-to the girl I will one day call my own,
Let us not be like stained glass windows, pleasant to look at but impossible to look through and let us not be like gems, trophies for viewing pleasure but lacking soul.
You, I want to bare my soul to- to express all I have inside me-the raging volcanoes, the simmering springs and placid pools.
I want you to know me, and not be blind. If I hurt you with what I say, baby be kind. This needs to go away before my heart can once again fully embrace another.
You see, my love for her, the one before you-came like an earthquake. It shook everything under me-she sneaked into and made my heart a servant of the thirst for acceptance and belonging. Her smile, her voice, her laughter-these were my air, soil and sunlight. She's the one I had to see everyday lest I wither and die from her absence.
She was special to me-she was my world. We ate pancakes and drank tea together, walked across the dam on the Nile laughing and dancing with the butterflies, we shoulder touched in the cinema watching Mr and Mrs Smith…we did so many things together. I cancelled appointments because of her, left important lectures to see her, my world was this girl, but I won't compare her to you.
Still her gaze was my breath, those beautiful brown eyes; falling in love with her was bliss- it made my heart run and leap.
But, I need to let you see you're not the girl of ages gone. She was a promise, a shadow. But you in my life: The flesh that wound up the dry bones of hopelessness.
She may have fuelled fires in my soul, may have churned deep springs of desire but hers was to show, to give me a taste of the love I hope is in you. I needed to tell you now, because love is not a game. It is the soil upon which flowers and thorns can grow, it the sun which can give life or death. You see, darling, love can be poison, it can be death, but I hope with you, it can be the dew of hope every morning. I pray it can be the beautiful colour that will paint our hearts as one on this canvas of life-to be together, now and forever.
My heart speaks of love for you; what was dying has come anew. But I wonder whether you feel it too or is the malady of love already giving me deceptive wraiths…?
Yours sincerely,
Your love,
Purple Heart
PH.
My love,-to the girl I will one day call my own,
Let us not be like stained glass windows, pleasant to look at but impossible to look through and let us not be like gems, trophies for viewing pleasure but lacking soul.
You, I want to bare my soul to- to express all I have inside me-the raging volcanoes, the simmering springs and placid pools.
I want you to know me, and not be blind. If I hurt you with what I say, baby be kind. This needs to go away before my heart can once again fully embrace another.
You see, my love for her, the one before you-came like an earthquake. It shook everything under me-she sneaked into and made my heart a servant of the thirst for acceptance and belonging. Her smile, her voice, her laughter-these were my air, soil and sunlight. She's the one I had to see everyday lest I wither and die from her absence.
She was special to me-she was my world. We ate pancakes and drank tea together, walked across the dam on the Nile laughing and dancing with the butterflies, we shoulder touched in the cinema watching Mr and Mrs Smith…we did so many things together. I cancelled appointments because of her, left important lectures to see her, my world was this girl, but I won't compare her to you.
Still her gaze was my breath, those beautiful brown eyes; falling in love with her was bliss- it made my heart run and leap.
But, I need to let you see you're not the girl of ages gone. She was a promise, a shadow. But you in my life: The flesh that wound up the dry bones of hopelessness.
She may have fuelled fires in my soul, may have churned deep springs of desire but hers was to show, to give me a taste of the love I hope is in you. I needed to tell you now, because love is not a game. It is the soil upon which flowers and thorns can grow, it the sun which can give life or death. You see, darling, love can be poison, it can be death, but I hope with you, it can be the dew of hope every morning. I pray it can be the beautiful colour that will paint our hearts as one on this canvas of life-to be together, now and forever.
My heart speaks of love for you; what was dying has come anew. But I wonder whether you feel it too or is the malady of love already giving me deceptive wraiths…?
Yours sincerely,
Your love,
Purple Heart
PH.
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Rwenzori Mineral Water
Living in Kampala of late feels like living on the outskirts of hell. My dear, what if the Mayans were right? All over a sudden seems like the rain has abandoned us....maybe after Christmas the rain saw what ungrateful little brats we were all complaining how it could rain on the day- spoiling major beach and pork plot...little did we know we would wish everyday was Christmas 2009. Alas, the joke's on us.
Now, this heat coincides with my watching of 2012. I swear that movie is so spooky it always spooks me to sleep whenever I try to watch it to completion. I have tried two days in a row but always fail to finish it... I mean, did you see how the land was giving way? Reminded me of the story of the men in the Bible that the earth swallowed up....I see exactly what happened to them. {Num 16:31 And it came to pass, as he had made an end of speaking all these words, that the ground clave asunder that [was] under them:And the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up, and their houses, and all the men that [appertained] unto Korah, and all [their] goods.... follow the rest of the story}
Gosh! And Haiti happened a few weeks after 2012....hmmmm
Well, I'm told to outsmart the heat you'll need to- Rehydrate: that way you will not be the bozo who fainted coz he had no time to drink. If you're reading this you're probably able to stock up on enough water for the day. 3, 1.5ltr bottles are not bad at all, not expensive either- just 2,700 where am at.
And if you're a lawyer, I pity you coz those dark jackets you put on as uniform...eeeish...you're probably doing human luwombo on yourself? Google would be such a nice place to work at in these moments for y'all. But surely, someone should invoke a new dress code for times like these. Ban all long sleeved shirts and trousers, let's go back to the era of King's African Rifles...woooohooo....funky.
And honestly, new work policies should come in place- do those meetings at some poolside, or go for forest walks. Relocate offices....remove ceilings...
Well, I'm yapping too much. Thank God there's a fan in this office. Yes, a fan, the ones of the ceiling. Munange, I am not in the class of those of air-con but the fan does work well. Let me get back to work before...No, I need to go to the 'syuper market'...not for love bambi....for Rwenzori Mineral Water.
Now, this heat coincides with my watching of 2012. I swear that movie is so spooky it always spooks me to sleep whenever I try to watch it to completion. I have tried two days in a row but always fail to finish it... I mean, did you see how the land was giving way? Reminded me of the story of the men in the Bible that the earth swallowed up....I see exactly what happened to them. {Num 16:31 And it came to pass, as he had made an end of speaking all these words, that the ground clave asunder that [was] under them:And the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up, and their houses, and all the men that [appertained] unto Korah, and all [their] goods.... follow the rest of the story}
Gosh! And Haiti happened a few weeks after 2012....hmmmm
Well, I'm told to outsmart the heat you'll need to- Rehydrate: that way you will not be the bozo who fainted coz he had no time to drink. If you're reading this you're probably able to stock up on enough water for the day. 3, 1.5ltr bottles are not bad at all, not expensive either- just 2,700 where am at.
And if you're a lawyer, I pity you coz those dark jackets you put on as uniform...eeeish...you're probably doing human luwombo on yourself? Google would be such a nice place to work at in these moments for y'all. But surely, someone should invoke a new dress code for times like these. Ban all long sleeved shirts and trousers, let's go back to the era of King's African Rifles...woooohooo....funky.
And honestly, new work policies should come in place- do those meetings at some poolside, or go for forest walks. Relocate offices....remove ceilings...
Well, I'm yapping too much. Thank God there's a fan in this office. Yes, a fan, the ones of the ceiling. Munange, I am not in the class of those of air-con but the fan does work well. Let me get back to work before...No, I need to go to the 'syuper market'...not for love bambi....for Rwenzori Mineral Water.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Laced with pain
Funny, huh? What started as an exciting month could not have had a better anticlimax. God, you know what I mean.
There are so many things I want to know. What is love? I thought I knew it but maybe I do not anymore. I have a utopian curse. That sickness which makes one believe in the impossible. My hope is really senseless- a zealot without a mind; you have too much faith in good.
And what is pain? Why can't I just throw it away? It puts me in a strong grapple and never wants to let go till I give in and give of the dew of my heart.
I want to know. I want to understand.
That night I walked away, I knew something was not right. I walked that upward winding road alone, with thoughts raining like cats and dogs in my mind. I often looked up at the dark night, the moon...was it present? I forget. I was not in a hurry, I just walked. One or two boda bodas stopped to ask if I was going and I said no. They continued on their way.
All the houses I passed by were in fences, no idea what the other side was. Reminds me of you; walking this road- were you a house to look at and admire or was I supposed to stop, ring the bell and wait to be let in? I may have known a part of you, but did I know what was behind that gate of silence?
The sky was very clear that night that I left.
I wish...
Work's moving. Every new day, a new skill comes into my possession and I am proud of it. Feels great to be learning.
But isn't love the flavour of life? I can imagine gaining everything there is to gain without a person to call love, without a friend, a brother, a boo. It would all be useless.
After some point I began sloping. The road became busy. Traffic was bumper to bumper- very vivid was the red that night. I walked past pubs, restaurants, men preparing t.v chicken and pork and roadside fried and roasted meats. The aroma was enticing but I left it unattended to, I would soon get home and eat something proper.
Eat something proper- very much like choosing who to love. I think we decide who we fall in love with, it is never an accident. It may start like a lonely drip of the morning dew on a flower upon the stone below it, but every morning that drip breaks the resistance of the stone and soon it may turn into soil.
We choose.
So, I did choose. I left all the enticing aromas on the roadside and hoped to get at home and eat something worthwhile but when I did get home, there was nothing. My tummy was saying all sorts of protestations and curses because I had left "good ready stuff" back on the road and now there was nothing here.
All this while, there's a mirror called my mind. I reflect and wonder whether the choice I made was worthwhile. I think it was. A choice to wait for something better, a choice to love what may not be at hand but a hope....That there made me the crazy man- love without a promise. It sure is hard but I am confident it was the right thing to do.
I told you that many will call me crazy, you too called me crazy - it is not something I deny. I am not going to become disdainful, no,I will remain grounded on the greatest there is- love.
These are my words,
PH.
On the soul replay- For You- Kenny Lattimore
There are so many things I want to know. What is love? I thought I knew it but maybe I do not anymore. I have a utopian curse. That sickness which makes one believe in the impossible. My hope is really senseless- a zealot without a mind; you have too much faith in good.
And what is pain? Why can't I just throw it away? It puts me in a strong grapple and never wants to let go till I give in and give of the dew of my heart.
I want to know. I want to understand.
That night I walked away, I knew something was not right. I walked that upward winding road alone, with thoughts raining like cats and dogs in my mind. I often looked up at the dark night, the moon...was it present? I forget. I was not in a hurry, I just walked. One or two boda bodas stopped to ask if I was going and I said no. They continued on their way.
All the houses I passed by were in fences, no idea what the other side was. Reminds me of you; walking this road- were you a house to look at and admire or was I supposed to stop, ring the bell and wait to be let in? I may have known a part of you, but did I know what was behind that gate of silence?
The sky was very clear that night that I left.
I wish...
Work's moving. Every new day, a new skill comes into my possession and I am proud of it. Feels great to be learning.
But isn't love the flavour of life? I can imagine gaining everything there is to gain without a person to call love, without a friend, a brother, a boo. It would all be useless.
After some point I began sloping. The road became busy. Traffic was bumper to bumper- very vivid was the red that night. I walked past pubs, restaurants, men preparing t.v chicken and pork and roadside fried and roasted meats. The aroma was enticing but I left it unattended to, I would soon get home and eat something proper.
Eat something proper- very much like choosing who to love. I think we decide who we fall in love with, it is never an accident. It may start like a lonely drip of the morning dew on a flower upon the stone below it, but every morning that drip breaks the resistance of the stone and soon it may turn into soil.
We choose.
So, I did choose. I left all the enticing aromas on the roadside and hoped to get at home and eat something worthwhile but when I did get home, there was nothing. My tummy was saying all sorts of protestations and curses because I had left "good ready stuff" back on the road and now there was nothing here.
All this while, there's a mirror called my mind. I reflect and wonder whether the choice I made was worthwhile. I think it was. A choice to wait for something better, a choice to love what may not be at hand but a hope....That there made me the crazy man- love without a promise. It sure is hard but I am confident it was the right thing to do.
I told you that many will call me crazy, you too called me crazy - it is not something I deny. I am not going to become disdainful, no,I will remain grounded on the greatest there is- love.
These are my words,
PH.
On the soul replay- For You- Kenny Lattimore
Saturday, January 30, 2010
senseless
Disclaimer: WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO READ MAY BE SHOCKING.
I think one of the most beautiful songs ever written about love is "For you", by Kenny Lattimore. YB,one of my very good friends knows it word for a word and I think he just may have sung it for his belle at one point. I've heard many beautiful stuff from really talented people like Maxwell, Tamia, Brandy, etc but this song, wow, I wish I was the one who had written it- coz I don't know if I'm yet ready to write this well or even better.
I'm trying to be as honest as I can in this post but I am afraid. Afraid that maybe you will see that I too am human. That I too question things, sometimes I doubt, sometimes I hate, sometimes I am filled with disdain, sometimes I just want to scream, sometimes I am not always confident. I want to spare you the disappointment but what about me?
What if I'm really angry at you? What if I want to scream and tell you that I really hate you, that I wish we'd never met? What if I want to say to you that you're worthless, useless, a waste of time and energy- a total loss to me?
You came into my world, like a great light, a light I thought would shine till my eyes gave out but no sooner that a few minutes, out you went, like a candle snuffed out. No I didn't, you did...
I'm so overwhelmed I do not know what to say.
I'm trying to be as honest as I can in this post but I am afraid. Afraid that maybe you will see that I too am human. That I too question things, sometimes I doubt, sometimes I hate, sometimes I am filled with disdain, sometimes I just want to scream, sometimes I am not always confident. I want to spare you the disappointment but what about me?
What if I'm really angry at you? What if I want to scream and tell you that I really hate you, that I wish we'd never met? What if I want to say to you that you're worthless, useless, a waste of time and energy- a total loss to me?
You came into my world, like a great light, a light I thought would shine till my eyes gave out but no sooner that a few minutes, out you went, like a candle snuffed out. No I didn't, you did...
I'm so overwhelmed I do not know what to say.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Green as bile
A mixture of water and black soil. No, not loam soil, I said black soil. The paste is thick and dark. He pours dark green leaves into the paste and grinds it; it's a very potent brew he is making, the stench fills the room as the greenish smoke arises.
Time can be a slow cook, especially when one would rather have something pass by like a rocket. The brew on the fire gives only a slight simmer, the pops occur once in a while. He sits staring at the brew intently as if his eyes were able to speak. His stare is distant, like he were now in some world of Pandora.
He gets up, goes to the door and places a brick against it. He picks the knife laying carelessly on the floor. Without a thought, he thrusts the knife at his chest and doesn't even flinch. Already drops of thick red blood are dripping but he goes ahead to tear apart his chest.
He reaches inside and removes the object of his interest, covered in red paste. He lowers it into the pot. It slowly sinks in, not immersing fully at once but slowly, drowning into the green paste.
"Pop...pop..pop" The brew is excited. Bubbles appear and burst in intervals.
The man, oblivious of the boiling reaches into the pot and removes the object. His hand is scarred but he never flinches. He inserts the object back into the crevice and then suddenly starts convulsing, and writhing. He begins to throw up; falls on the ground, kicking the air, punching the unseen- he ends up covered in dirt, vomit, green paste and red blood. He smells.
It goes on until the madness starts to fizzle out. The kicking lessens, and the throwing of punches; he stops rolling in the dirt slowly and eases into a trance. Sleep whisks him away and soon he is not moving.
When he wakes up, the wound is bound up, no dirt, no vomit, nothing. He picks up the knife and slits his wrist- the sensation is ecstatic but he looks and no, it isn't red anymore, that which used to be scarlet is now green as bile.
Time can be a slow cook, especially when one would rather have something pass by like a rocket. The brew on the fire gives only a slight simmer, the pops occur once in a while. He sits staring at the brew intently as if his eyes were able to speak. His stare is distant, like he were now in some world of Pandora.
He gets up, goes to the door and places a brick against it. He picks the knife laying carelessly on the floor. Without a thought, he thrusts the knife at his chest and doesn't even flinch. Already drops of thick red blood are dripping but he goes ahead to tear apart his chest.
He reaches inside and removes the object of his interest, covered in red paste. He lowers it into the pot. It slowly sinks in, not immersing fully at once but slowly, drowning into the green paste.
"Pop...pop..pop" The brew is excited. Bubbles appear and burst in intervals.
The man, oblivious of the boiling reaches into the pot and removes the object. His hand is scarred but he never flinches. He inserts the object back into the crevice and then suddenly starts convulsing, and writhing. He begins to throw up; falls on the ground, kicking the air, punching the unseen- he ends up covered in dirt, vomit, green paste and red blood. He smells.
It goes on until the madness starts to fizzle out. The kicking lessens, and the throwing of punches; he stops rolling in the dirt slowly and eases into a trance. Sleep whisks him away and soon he is not moving.
When he wakes up, the wound is bound up, no dirt, no vomit, nothing. He picks up the knife and slits his wrist- the sensation is ecstatic but he looks and no, it isn't red anymore, that which used to be scarlet is now green as bile.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Cupid and his menace
They say it's a river, circles the earth
A beam of light shining to the edge of the universe
It conquers all
It changes everything
They say it's a blessing
They say it's a gift
They say it's a miracle and I believe that it is
It conquers all
but it's a mystery
Love breaks your heart
Love takes no less than everything
Love makes it hard
And fades away so easily
In this world we've created
Where this place that we lived
In a blink of an eye the darkness slips in
Love lights the world, unites the love that's for eternity
Love breaks the chain
Love aches for everyone of us
Love takes the tears and the pain
And turns it in to the beauty that remains
Look at this place
It was paradise but now it's dying
I'll brave the love
I'll take my chances that it's not too late
Love breaks your heart
Love takes no less than everything
Love makes it hard
And fades away so easily
Love breaks the chain
Love aches for everyone of us
Love takes the tears and the pain
And turns it in to the beauty that remains
(Brian Mcknight and Vanessa Williams- Love is)
A beam of light shining to the edge of the universe
It conquers all
It changes everything
They say it's a blessing
They say it's a gift
They say it's a miracle and I believe that it is
It conquers all
but it's a mystery
Love breaks your heart
Love takes no less than everything
Love makes it hard
And fades away so easily
In this world we've created
Where this place that we lived
In a blink of an eye the darkness slips in
Love lights the world, unites the love that's for eternity
Love breaks the chain
Love aches for everyone of us
Love takes the tears and the pain
And turns it in to the beauty that remains
Look at this place
It was paradise but now it's dying
I'll brave the love
I'll take my chances that it's not too late
Love breaks your heart
Love takes no less than everything
Love makes it hard
And fades away so easily
Love breaks the chain
Love aches for everyone of us
Love takes the tears and the pain
And turns it in to the beauty that remains
(Brian Mcknight and Vanessa Williams- Love is)
Friday, January 22, 2010
Mr. Romantic
And you thought you were romantic.....
Do you know the exact moment your lover was conceived? Did you ever keep watch over her, never batting an eyelid coz you were sleepy? Did you take time to count the number of hairs on her head and always walk beside her making sure she did not trip, and that if she tripped, you caught her before she fell, and that if she fell you picked her up again?
Did you wipe away every tear from her eyes? Did you comfort her when she was alone and frightened? Did you open the curtains of the sky and let the sun shine for her? Did you make the rose and lily and dahlia and daffodil and chrysanthemum and sunflower bloom for her so that she smiled and leaped like a little child?
Did you make sure the wind blew and the rain fell when it was too hot for her? Did you provide an oasis when she was in the desert place? Did you quiet her soul when there was trouble all around? Do you love her that much?
Did you give away your riches so that she would become rich? Did you endure beatings so that she would be healed of her sickness? Did you pierce your head so that she would be guiltless? Did you die so that she may live?
Did you bestow upon her the grace to handle pain, the joy to celebrate good times, the peace to be still and be thankful? Did you set yourself as her shield, her buckler, her fortress, her rock, her light, her hope? Was she able to trust you fully and at all times and if she wasn't sure she could talk to you about it?
Mr. so called Romantic- did you supply all her need when she was in her mother's womb and when she was out? Did you give her friends and a family? Did you give her life?
He did this for you and me, He does it for love..
Baseline: For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.
For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.
But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:6-8
Do you know the exact moment your lover was conceived? Did you ever keep watch over her, never batting an eyelid coz you were sleepy? Did you take time to count the number of hairs on her head and always walk beside her making sure she did not trip, and that if she tripped, you caught her before she fell, and that if she fell you picked her up again?
Did you wipe away every tear from her eyes? Did you comfort her when she was alone and frightened? Did you open the curtains of the sky and let the sun shine for her? Did you make the rose and lily and dahlia and daffodil and chrysanthemum and sunflower bloom for her so that she smiled and leaped like a little child?
Did you make sure the wind blew and the rain fell when it was too hot for her? Did you provide an oasis when she was in the desert place? Did you quiet her soul when there was trouble all around? Do you love her that much?
Did you give away your riches so that she would become rich? Did you endure beatings so that she would be healed of her sickness? Did you pierce your head so that she would be guiltless? Did you die so that she may live?
Did you bestow upon her the grace to handle pain, the joy to celebrate good times, the peace to be still and be thankful? Did you set yourself as her shield, her buckler, her fortress, her rock, her light, her hope? Was she able to trust you fully and at all times and if she wasn't sure she could talk to you about it?
Mr. so called Romantic- did you supply all her need when she was in her mother's womb and when she was out? Did you give her friends and a family? Did you give her life?
He did this for you and me, He does it for love..
Baseline: For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.
For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.
But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:6-8
Monday, January 18, 2010
For trusting God now
It is Monday morning 5.14 am. My bladder wakes me up, I need to go to the bathroom. I get up, out of the bed and go. I get back, knowing I rarely wake up at this time and thus looking at a great opportunity to do something i have not done in a long time.
My spirit is heavy, I wish there was something I could do to make it lighter. I open the book, but sleep is heavy upon my eyes. I read through the lines, trying to make sense of them but the mist upon my eyes is heavy. I sit up. I kneel. I lie down. Posture doesn't help.
I start to mumble somethings. They do not make sense. I have blackouts. After a small while of mumblings, it goes dark, my body curls up and I disappear. After a while, I reappear still mumbling nothings,.try to read the book..
Cycles of mumblings and misty eyes...finally I had to get out of bed. Today is a day I must face with the LORD.
My spirit is heavy, I wish there was something I could do to make it lighter. I open the book, but sleep is heavy upon my eyes. I read through the lines, trying to make sense of them but the mist upon my eyes is heavy. I sit up. I kneel. I lie down. Posture doesn't help.
I start to mumble somethings. They do not make sense. I have blackouts. After a small while of mumblings, it goes dark, my body curls up and I disappear. After a while, I reappear still mumbling nothings,.try to read the book..
Cycles of mumblings and misty eyes...finally I had to get out of bed. Today is a day I must face with the LORD.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Dearest......
You see, my dearest,
there are so many things I want to say to you right now. I want to be able to fully show you the colours and lights of the different sensations that are going through my mind and chest right now,...but I can't.
Where did the words I had planned to say to you go? My heart races as I try to control my breath and speak properly. I want to speak slowly but the words seem to overwhelm me. My eyes should let go of your eyes but they cannot, I am held in your gaze, or rather, you are held in my gaze.
There's a drum beat in my chest, seriously; and I cannot hush it. Do you hear it? Here, give me your hand, lay it on my breast, see that I am not lying to you. I have not known this to be true as I do now. Your eyes are the moon,they are the sun, they are the stars; they give me so much life, so much peace, so much joy.
Who would know a hug would mean so much; that your cheek against mine would feel so warm? Your hands so soft, your touch as silk? I wanted to tell you rivers of words flowing from my deeps....
But I guess that you know what my heart looks like; you know the beautiful shades therein. You know that the months apart never changed a thing in my heart. My heart constantly says your name. Your face I see before I sleep and when I wake. There is so much I want to say.
I could say it a million ways but I would still be saying; you mean the world to me hun, I love you.
there are so many things I want to say to you right now. I want to be able to fully show you the colours and lights of the different sensations that are going through my mind and chest right now,...but I can't.
Where did the words I had planned to say to you go? My heart races as I try to control my breath and speak properly. I want to speak slowly but the words seem to overwhelm me. My eyes should let go of your eyes but they cannot, I am held in your gaze, or rather, you are held in my gaze.
There's a drum beat in my chest, seriously; and I cannot hush it. Do you hear it? Here, give me your hand, lay it on my breast, see that I am not lying to you. I have not known this to be true as I do now. Your eyes are the moon,they are the sun, they are the stars; they give me so much life, so much peace, so much joy.
Who would know a hug would mean so much; that your cheek against mine would feel so warm? Your hands so soft, your touch as silk? I wanted to tell you rivers of words flowing from my deeps....
But I guess that you know what my heart looks like; you know the beautiful shades therein. You know that the months apart never changed a thing in my heart. My heart constantly says your name. Your face I see before I sleep and when I wake. There is so much I want to say.
I could say it a million ways but I would still be saying; you mean the world to me hun, I love you.
Monday, January 04, 2010
Where shall peace be found?
Where shall peace be found?
Is it in the melodies of stringed instruments?
Cool and breezy sounds
That set hearts at ease?
Time flees from our grasp
Like a half dead chicken, void of head.
Doesn't time run like a thief almost caught in the act?
Is it not like a cheetah on the hunt for a meal?
Racing speedily ahead of achievements and failures,
Eyes fixed on what is unknown to us?
And whether she ever stops is a mystery,
For she goes past tears and laughter.
She never stops to mourn or celebrate,
She races like a wild fire in a forest- consuming thorn and flower.
But don't let her deceive you,
Time is not eternal-
She is not all powerful,
Even she bends to worship-
The Alpha and Omega, the first and last,
He sits outside time and causes seasons to pass.
So when sorrow and joy come in the seasons they do,
Fall downward on your knees to God who makes all things new.
Today maybe a sorrow,
Tomorrow a joy
But tis God who gives us strength
To carry us all seasons through.
Happy New Year.
BASELINE:
Isa 61:3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.
Is it in the melodies of stringed instruments?
Cool and breezy sounds
That set hearts at ease?
Time flees from our grasp
Like a half dead chicken, void of head.
Doesn't time run like a thief almost caught in the act?
Is it not like a cheetah on the hunt for a meal?
Racing speedily ahead of achievements and failures,
Eyes fixed on what is unknown to us?
And whether she ever stops is a mystery,
For she goes past tears and laughter.
She never stops to mourn or celebrate,
She races like a wild fire in a forest- consuming thorn and flower.
But don't let her deceive you,
Time is not eternal-
She is not all powerful,
Even she bends to worship-
The Alpha and Omega, the first and last,
He sits outside time and causes seasons to pass.
So when sorrow and joy come in the seasons they do,
Fall downward on your knees to God who makes all things new.
Today maybe a sorrow,
Tomorrow a joy
But tis God who gives us strength
To carry us all seasons through.
Happy New Year.
BASELINE:
Isa 61:3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.
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