Why Hope Never Runs Dry.

Last night, I lay in my bed thinking, heart racing about the next day. It had been two months since I last went to work this year because I had been debilitated for that amount of time. I was anxious. I was breathing fast. I could not think straight. My joints were hurting a bit. I was really nervous about my first day of work this year.

Many years ago, while I was still in primary, I had similar days. There were those days when one was enjoying the holiday but had to finally quit slacking and get to school but then there were those days when again after suffering the debilitation, I would shudder at going back to school.

Good ole days

I would imagine how much they'd left me behind; what new conversation was going on that I was not aware of; were there mean new teachers? Was I going back during a test period? Would I do enough to be promoted to the next class?

Yes, the same way my heart raced in those days was the same way it raced yesterday. How much work will I find? Does my desk still exist? Will there be power? etc etc

I lay in bed without clear answers and could not stop this heart from racing! However, years ago considering the hurdles one would face, I wonder how I managed to continue going back to school (okay, parental guidance played a good part).

 Nonetheless I discovered that surrounded with an atmosphere of hope, one cannot help oneself but press on. It is about patient confidence that a time is at hand when what we hate will be gone and what we love will be eternal. It is about looking beyond the present conditions like pain, lack, rejection, failure to a place of contentment. It is the unseen bridge between where we are and where we want to be.

Without hope, a man is as good as dead. For hope presents an oxygen mask, a reason to endure the season, a light in a blanket of darkness. When a man sees no tomorrow, he has come to the end of life.

Interestingly though, hope can run dry. When one is a subject of recurring failure, pain, lack and sickness, it is possible to get to a place of doubt, sometimes frustration, many times anger, and most times depression and then make one give up the possibility of ever getting to the place they so much desire. This can happen especially when one's object is in themselves or the conditions prevailing or anticipated.

Hope placed upon changing things is risky for it might be exhausted. However when this  hope is placed upon an object that is unchangeable, unchanging then one can be sure and hope. 

 In this way desiring to declare more fully to the heirs of promise the immutability of His counsel, God interposed by an oath,  so that by two immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us, 

which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters into that within the veil, where the Forerunner has entered for us, even Jesus, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek. Heb 6:17-20 

With our hope in the eternal, the unchanging, the foundation : Jesus Christ, we have reason to wake up each day regardless of the pain, uncertainty, lack, disappointment and press on because we know our hope does not stop at the physical but extends into the unseen and the eternal. 

 And everyone who has this hope on him purifies himself, even as that One is pure. 1Jn3:3 

Why does hope never run dry? Jesus Christ. So then we wake up each day and look upon the day with a smile confident that our hope is sure and steady and that even if today we do not see deliverance, we shall see it inevitably, either in this life or in the eternal. 

In Pursuit of "Happy-ness"?

She's got a smile that glows like sunrise in a black and white photo. Once in a while, I catch a glimpse of it in full colour. And, it is beautiful. She does everything right She seems to do everything right because nothing she does in my eyes seems wrong. Even when she talks for hours on end, her voice keeps my heart listening.

I told God she is the right one. (Haha, as if I would know). Then I did a Fleece test on the issue, it seemed the fleece was in agreement too. Understand, a person in love will most times consider that feeling, the highest of all. She is all you think about; most of the time, if not all of the time. You want to please her in anyway possible, you want her to be safe with you.

Two things may happen. She might return the sentiment. She may not.

In the event that she does, two things might happen. The romance might endure till after marriage. Or, the romance  might go on till the start of the marriage. In the event that she doesn't, two things might also happen. You may move on. Or, you might wallow and blame the world for the unfairness!

Emotions are like horses. Without control, they are unsafe to ride.

Many seek the love of their lives like they're searching for a cure to a life threatening disease that kills in a few hours. Their hearts race like horses for the prize. Without him or her, life is a blank piece of canvas without meaning. Love  is beautiful, especially the kind of a man for a woman, it is, however, there is a more important matter in life.

There is a greater love. And not one orchestrated by man. John 3:16 " For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that everyone believing into Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. "

A wise young woman , Cinammon Ayikoru says "When I get to Heaven, the Lord will not ask me ''Why didn't you have a boyfriend? Why weren't you romancing?'' You see my creator and I , we will be having much bigger things to talk about....."

Eternity proves a more important thing than having a love of your life, especially if that love is not Jesus Christ Himself. Yes, I am not saying, abandon relationship- do not get married, what I am saying is if the pursuit of it is elusive and becomes more important than other things, especially Christ Jesus, then there is a problem.

I am waiting for her. Whether the fleece was right or not, time will tell. However, God knows everything- He is the beginning, the present, the end. In Him is contentment and peace. (Phil 4:11-12 --->Not that I speak as to need, for I have learned to be content in whatever state I am. Php 4:12  And I know to be humbled, and I know to abound; in everything, and in all things, I am taught both to be filled and to hunger, both to abound, and to lack. )

My life will not be judged on the love of my life, or on my choice of car, or on my education, rather on whether my robes were washed white in the blood of Jesus(Rev 7:14  And I said to him, Sir, you know. And he said to me, These are those coming out of the great tribulation; and they washed their robes and whitened them in the blood of the Lamb. ). Life in Him is above all ambition, all desire, all need. So, in pursuit of happy-ness, let Christ be the map, and not only that, the beginning, the journey and the final destination.

Amen.

Love, where is your fire?

Love, where is your fire?

No one says it better than Brooke Fraser. Love where is your fire? I've been sitting here smoking away...

Happy New Year

Happy new year folks. I know, I know; it's the end of January and you are probably wondering, did it take me this long to finally get into 2012? Well, I got into 2012 the same time you did. Regards, Petesmama, I was on my bed while the fireworks was about to go off for you and the whole world. Truth be told, I did not enter the year with much gusto but rather "quietness and confidence."


I decided not to make resolutions but rather quietly hope and walk. I watched a few fireworks displays from the home balcony before I nibbled on a bit of pork and then set myself to sleep. The post December 31, 2011 days have not been a breeze I tell you, which is why I am saying happy new year now.


I noticed some of you noticed my picture in the papers. Noted.


Anyway, three things: worship, work, women. It's been excruciatingly and yet wonderful walking this January given that it has not been the best of January's. I would never have imagined one as such as this. Even while the theme at Church is "Favour", I felt like there was little or none of it. Let's be clear, God has been good to me, exceptionally. I know why I say so. It may not look like it from afar but I know why I say so.


There has been a lot of pain in January. Personal, physical pain. Days after days of lying in the bed and keeping back moans and groans. The pain has been there but thank God, there was worship too. There was wisdom too. There was understanding as well. I am a doofus in the things of God, truthfully speaking; I am still asking God to clear the air in some areas and this pain is one of them. When God however reassures you with Word like When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you... Isa 43:2, you learn to rest and wait "For so says the Lord Jehovah, the Holy One of Israel, In returning and rest you shall be saved; and in quietness and hope shall be your strength..."Isa 30:15.


It has been a long January. I have been to work only once, frustrated later with the pain. A lot of drama has happened too with the women. That, I will not talk about.  I am in 2012 and crossing over to February, the so called month of love. It is just a reminder to all of us as we leave the first month, let love sustain us all the way through "Love quietly covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. "1Co 13:7.


This note is a little reminder to all of us, the walk with God may not make sense at all times, but He gives us peace, "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. " John 14:27.


Blessed 2012.

Toblerone.

Delicious. White. Chocolate. So she says. However, I have never tasted it. I had never really taken notice of it till she mentioned it. "White chocolate", I thought to myself, "...is it like white white gold?" Of course I would get no answers, just speculation.

White chocolate on Christmas evening.

So I set out on finding this treasure with just hours to the deadline. When I say deadline, I mean that I do not know whether supermarkets work on Christmas, because quite naturally, the people working also have families, they are not robots. Thus, I wonder who would work on Christmas?

That aside, I had forgotten or ignored the fact that it was 24th December.

"Strings of street lights Even stop lights 
Blink a bright red and green  
As the shoppers rush home with their treasures..."

The number of shoppers in the city was unprecedented by me. And may I make it clear, not just in the city, the number of people in the supermarkets with white chocolate was unprecedented! I had met a friend who knew where to get this "White Gold" and had recommended three places, Capital Shoppers, Shoprite or Uchumi.

I went to Capital Shoppers first and even before entering, already lost hope. It was lines and queues everywhere, even at the entrance. The place was filled! I managed to get in but it was so stuffy I felt I needed to leave immediately. I managed a quick scan, and got to the sweets/ chocolates but no Toblerone, no white chocolate.

I wasted no time leaving.

I would try Shoprite next, it was just down the road. 

When I got to Shoprite, I thought there was a thief being manhandled! A scuffle was going on at the Parcels area. People were retrieving, and storing their bags, parcels and whatever packages they had come to shop with. There was a small crowd, people struggling to have their cards taken and their bags given them, and to add to this, they had Shoprite polythenes in one hand. In other words, when I sensed the bag on my back, I turned around and went to Cooper Complex. There was an Uchumi on the way home.

Now Uchumi was much better. Cool (I mean literally cool), Kirk Franklin playing in the background and no queues and lines. Now onto the most important thing, "White Gold", Toblerone.

I walked from the first aisle to the last aisle looking for even the sight of just one packet of that crystal (pun not really intended, lol )shaped chocolate. No Toblerone. Sigh. I had info that Toblerone was the best. A gem indeed. 

Uchumi Kabalagala did not have it.

Yet they did have Cadbury's! Not Toblerone, but "White Gold" all the same. So I picked it and now, I cannot wait to get it to her....

See her then.

The Inn Keeper - A Short Story (3)

...From Part Two

Royalty!

Expensive jewels on their fingers and ears, so bright they shone in the night. He closed the door quickly and hurried to his room to look through his window! And soon after he was there, the three men dressed like Kings got to the stable. He was able to hear their conversation as they reached:

“Finally we’re here!”

“Yes, the star light points us here!”

“Yes. We can now behold the child of hope.”

As soon as they saw the child, they went on their knees and bowed.

What are they doing? They are dressed like Kings, Magi, yet they kneel before a two hour old baby?

“Frankincense I offer.”

“Myrrh, I bring.”

“Gold, for the King of Kings.”

He pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t imagining this! He had to see this for himself. This time he hurried out without lamp to the stable. And he had not dreamt it! There was gold, the aroma of frankincense and sweet smelling myrrh.

This failed him. The boy and his parents were simpletons. They were in a stable moreover. What was so great about that?

The three men, the father and the mother looked at him a bit surprised by the shocked look on his face.

“It’s alright dear Sir, this boy, this child in your stable is the Saviour of the Jews but also of the whole world.” One of the three men told him assuredly.

He looked at the child for a minute and a tear almost came out. Before he could let anyone see it, he rushed back in, sat down and stared at the lamp.

Gods just sent a savior and he’s in my stable! Oh! Had I known! I’d have given the best room; but I didn’t know!

He kept on staring.

There’s a saviour in my stable!

And he began laughing out. Joy, disbelief ran through his blood as he laughed! He laughed and Chloe woke up and came to him;

“Sir, is everything alright?”

“Hahaha, Chloe, God knocked on our inn for a room, and we sent Him to the stable! Hahahaha”

Chloe was confused.

“Sir, maybe you should go to rest, I think you’re tired.”

“Chloe, go to rest, I have finally found my rest. Do not take a care for me!”

And he continued laughing. Then he went silent again, till the break of dawn, eyes wide open in disbelief and joy.

God, you should have told me to keep a room at least! You preferred the Christ be born in a manger?

…

A few years onward as he told a story to his now youthful grandson;

“I had God in my stable and didn’t even know it!”

The two fell silent and then suddenly broke out into laughter.

And it was true. The Saviour chose to be born in an Inn Keeper’s stable- because as after His own nature, He would in turn exalt the humble, and debase the proud. He would lift the weak and make them strong. He would take the helpless and give them help. He would take the poor and make them rich, the foolish and make them wise, the dead and give them life!

He was the persona of humility. A God that chose to be born like an animal, live like a deliverer and die like a criminal.

Are you too proud to make Him Lord?

Merry Christmas!

Joel Ntwatwa

The Inn Keeper - A Short Story (2)

...From Part One

So he just sat and tried to listen.

A little while after, he heard the cries of a baby! He was delighted. He got up and looked, they were all there, the mother was alive, the father excited, the child. The strange thing is he never heard the mother moaning or anything. Strange.

He wanted to get up and go congratulate the parents; he got lamp in hand and began heading out. As he approached the door, he heard quick, excited footsteps outside his door. He opened the door to proceed to the stable and bumped into some shepherds!

“Sir, Sir, are you going to see the Saviour too?” One of the shepherds asked!

“Saviour? What do you mean? There’s a child in the stable, wrapped in swaddling clothes….” And before he finished one of the shepherds interrupted,

“Friend! That is the Saviour!...” And they went on to explain to him how angels appeared to them and told them how they’d find the child.

What new wine are these poor shepherds drinking? Angels? Saviour? Do they know how ordinary the people they are talking about are?

Their foolish talk made him think twice about going to see the child now. He directed them to the stable dismissing their talk yet the shepherds went on. It occurred to him they had the talk of men certain of their words, not weak knees swayed by wine! Might they be telling the truth?

He went back inside with his lamps; a little afraid and unsure. He went back to his room and looked through the window.

Soon after, the shepherds left. Singing and worshipping God, almost so loud they could have woken up the sleepers in the inns on that way.

His heart stilled.

The night was getting spent and already he was exhausted. Chloe and Mark were not allowed to sleep while he was still awake, so they were quietly talking to each other in the first room, Chloe in particular wondering what was happening.

“Chloe, Mark, you can go to bed now! I will stay up a little longer.”

“Master Phinehas is acting strange tonight. You think he’s alright?” Chloe asked.

“Of course, he is fine. You’re the one who’s tired. Go and rest. See you in the morning.”

He picked up his lamp to go and check on the two and as he neared the door this time heard camels outside!

What now? Richer shepherds perhaps?

He decided to open the door and have a look.

And he almost dropped his lamp!!!

Continue to Part Three...

The Inn Keeper- Short Story (1)

Tired already, but still needing to serve some clients, he heard a desperate knock on his door.

Dadadadada

He immediately knew what it was, another traveler looking for a place to stay for the night. Ever since the Emperor, Augustus had decreed the census, there had been very many people in the area and almost everyone needed a room. Business was good but it was also very exhausting. He could not count the number of times he had to tell customers “No room!” in the past few days.

Dadadadada.

It went again and this time he shouted;

“No room!”

Oh gosh. He knew he’d been praying all year for God to bless his business but quite literally now his cup was running over. He had actually no room to accommodate any clients now.

Dadadadada.

This was getting to him, so he had no option but to literally face whoever it was and send them away. As he approached the door, lamp in hand, the angry sound came again;

Dadadadada

And this really got to him, anger rose up and as he opened the door shouted;

“Are you going to sleep in the stable? BECAUSE I HAVE NO ROOM LEFT!!!”

As soon as he saw the man and the woman with him, he thought to himself; Perhaps I need to make room in the stable. The man in front of him reminded him of his own son. He had become a father too at around this age- they grow up so fast!

“Sir, we’ve tried every other Inn and we were really hoping there would be some room, anything, anywhere my wife can lie down because the baby is soon coming! Dear Sir, if you have any room, please help.”

He could not just tell them to try elsewhere, they had been trying elsewhere probably all evening, especially seeing how worn out they both looked.

“Mark? Take a vessel and some towels to number 14 and 3. Ask Chloe to make sure she takes food to 4 and 8. Okay?”

“Okay Sir!”

He came out, lamp in his hand, closed the door behind him.

“Come, my inn is full, but there is a stable behind. There’s a little space I was preparing for some two donkeys I was going to buy but I imagine it will be of help. There’s a manger for feeding the animals. Let me clean it for you. I hope it will be of some use.”

He led them to a stable with some animals in it, a cow, some chickens, and two goats. As they got in, the animals made no noise, the cow chewed cud as he observed the three people come in, as if wondering what was happening.

“There are some vessels I can bring you and a little warm water.”

He cleared out some hay and formed a bed, helped Joseph lay out some mats and create a makeshift bed for the soon to be mother.

“I am so sorry, I do not have any space left, but I do hope this will help.”

Now, he wondered to himself:  Why am I being so nice? He did not answer himself; he continued to clean one of the mangers.

The man who’d finally been helped, in a relieved yet tired voice told the Inn Keeper,

“Thank you Sir, may God bless you.”

“Don’t worry Sir; just making sure your wife is fine. Let me go get you the vessels and warm water. “

There’s something strange about these people, I cannot put a finger to it, he said to himself as he went inside the inn. He called Chloe, one of the maidens he employed to prepare some towels for him and a little warm water.

She wondered what for, since there were no more people inside the inn who needed them. Is he getting old? However, she simply did as told. As soon as she gave them to him, he went out quickly and delivered them to the couple.

After that, he decided to leave, but he would keep an eye on them. So he went to his room, there was a small window overlooking the stable, from here he could see what was happening.

Phinehas, perhaps, you will look after she’s delivered.

Continue to Part Two...

Grown Up.

My desire this year, my prayer is to walk the talk. To be the change in my community, my family, my friends, my country, my cell, at Church. Tired of talking, I need to start stepping.

I am growing up. My priorities are changing slowly. My focuses are changing. My hopes are changing. What was appealing before seems to be dim now, and the dim now brighter. The time is upon me to live on purpose. 11.12.11. Remember that date.

Time to live from heart to head.

Time to walk by His voice. Time to grab opportunities. God of all, your son prays for strength in the inner man. Ephesians 1 and 3 this year Lord.

And for the things I have sought after year after year, Lord give me rest over them, peace. I hand them over, that You may make those things perfect in timing and quality.

Thanks for family, friends and subscribers ;). I love you Lord.

Miss writing.

At twenty three, writing was my dream, my passion, my obsession. My mind was always on the look out for a story. Whether sad or good, my mind was hungry to translate individuals onto paper and have others share of their lives.

I have been writing since I was eleven. I am captivated by words. They are like colours, all different but contributing to one light. I fell in love with the words of that story- when a girl fell in love with a boy, and that story when a boy had adventures at his school, and that story about solving mysteries. I loved stories, the stream from the beginning to the end; the rollercoaster ride, the adrenaline and the sadness all at once. So I decided to start writing too.

I decided to imagine I was solving a mystery, telling a girl I loved her, praising the Master. So I wrote and my heart loved to write. In sadness I wrote. In heart break, I wrote;  in disappointment , I wrote; in excitement, I wrote. Writing became my escape.

I owned many journals from the time I was young. I would record the days, the good and bad, the high and low. And days later when years had passed, I would read the stories and see how far I had come.

How I miss my writing, that old old passion, that thing that made me calm when my day was haywire. Today I want to write but it's got a lot harder. As soon as I put pen to paper and my heart pulls out. So I suffer with heavy burdens, heavy thoughts. I toss and turn in my bed at like one a-m and now a paper cannot even help me to sleep.

I end up turning on lights, turning on a computer, maybe a television, maybe a console.

And it's not just for mourning, I mean my writing, for when I was twenty three all my writings were blessings. Commentaries and advice on the things of life, exciting encouragement on the things of Christ. It was easier then, but so much harder now. Is it coz I'm in a hurry to live my next moment?

For writing can't be rushed, no, it can't be forced out. It is like a river, or the brewing of a wine, or the bearing of a baby or the blooming of a fruit. Yet sometimes I need to move quickly, get over this, go ahead, life becomes too quick and I just have no time to write.

Yet I miss you writing. The highs and the lows and that God would revive me to tell those stories again. Yes I write still, but not as before, so God make it better than ever before.

Be Strong in Grace

1 You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. 2 And the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. 3 You therefore must endure [fn1] hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 4 No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier. 5 And also if anyone competes in athletics, he is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. 6 The hardworking farmer must be first to partake of the crops. 7 Consider what I say, and may [fn2] the Lord give you understanding in all things.
8 Remember that Jesus Christ, of the seed of David, was raised from the dead according to my gospel, 9 for which I suffer trouble as an evildoer, even to the point of chains; but the word of God is not chained. 10 Therefore I endure all things for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory.
11 This is a faithful saying:

For if we died with Him,
We shall also live with Him.
12 If we endure,
We shall also reign with Him.
If we deny Him,
He also will deny us.
13 If we are faithless,
He remains faithful;
He cannot deny Himself.

Approved and Disapproved Workers

14 Remind them of these things, charging them before the Lord not to strive about words to no profit, to the ruin of the hearers. 15 Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 16 But shun profane and idle babblings, for they will increase to more ungodliness. 17 And their message will spread like cancer. Hymenaeus and Philetus are of this sort, 18 who have strayed concerning the truth, saying that the resurrection is already past; and they overthrow the faith of some. 19 Nevertheless the solid foundation of God stands, having this seal: “The Lord knows those who are His,” and, “Let everyone who names the name of Christ [fn3] depart from iniquity.”
20 But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay, some for honor and some for dishonor. 21 Therefore if anyone cleanses himself from the latter, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified and useful for the Master, prepared for every good work. 22 Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 23 But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. 24 And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, 25 in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, 26 and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.

2 Timothy 2 (Blueletterbible.org)

Fadtastic Uganda

So, Golola just got himself in between a rock and a hard place and all Ugandans can do is make jokes about him. Meanwhile, Bad Black is back in jail, not much ado there till she comes out. The Uganda Cranes did a dozen on CECAFA and there was no crowd to welcome them back home this time as it was in the 90s.After failing to qualify for AFCON, the blame game started.

Kabakumba Matsiko is being urged to resign because of radio equipment by MPs. A little while back, UMEME was in the dock, then a former youth MP became a hero because of oil allegations but now those are silent.

Sebaggala once came back as a convicted felon and was praised for being sharp. Michael Ezra the same, Rubeleto is praised for money bags as the Kirumiras. Pablo used to be the talk of town and now there are Crackers and a whole lot of other comdey troupes.

Afrigo band now tussles it out with Eagles' and many other bands in many bars around town.

Ugandans seem to me to have a habit of moving on very quickly from things.So much drama in Uganda it feels like a soap opera. In parliament nothing is ever resolved, just excitement of stopping corruption and that is it. No developmental stuff, nothing.

Lugaflow came, Zamba ate his money, now lugaflow is off. Zamba is almost becoming a legend in a baboon forest.

The dollar is at 2400/- today and fuel stations are selling petrol at 3950/-. Sugar simply failed to go back below 3000/-. I wonder, don't dollars have anything to do with inflation and the economy? Why is nothing changing?

Taxi fares change hapharzadly. School fees go up on the guise of the economy.

Where is the root of Uganda? Why are we so fadtabulous? Why are we so pedantic? Selfish? Egotistic?

Even Isaiah Katumwa is old news. Thankfully even Gaetano is now old news.

There is no root in this nation. No staying power except corruption. What is there to be proud of if the only thing were doing is hedonistically jumping from one pleasure to another and senselessly complaining about lawlessness, the same which we subject others to?

UG? Warup?

Baseline:
Proverbs 14:34- Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people.

Changes...(Part 2)

When he had first seen her, he realised he had a crush. There was something about her that just instantly made him admire her. However, he made a deliberate decision not to pursue any such thing for his own good.

When a meeting with her was gifted, he did not anticipate what would ensue. He said

"Hi".

Normally, a girl like her would have a voice with a high pitch and would talk excitedly! When she opened her mouth to speak...

Low tone, mature, controlled clarity of a woman! These are the very things he was trying to prevent and just this one meeting and the water tried to break the dam. Her voice was uniquely beautiful and calm! He stretched out his hand, and she received it.

At that moment, he did not envision he would have this predicament now. What should he do now?

Scribbled for 1st December

HIV/AIDS.

We take it for granted coz we think we can handle it; with wads of moneys that can buy ARVs. How about those in the rural rural areas, sufferin on their death beds coz their flesh took over once... AIDS has not relented, but our carnal nature has, so we keep joining networks, buying condoms etc.

ABC- Abstain Be Faithful Christ's conviction but then we make it look like condoms can be sustained? Our  flesh keeps bugging, and then we throw them out the door, and anyway, we all die someday, so we throw caution to the wind.

God help us buffet this flesh and the only way I know is help us change our minds. Help us grow up. Help us cherish marriage, and honour the marriage bed, help us drink water from only our cisterns, help us only look to and enjoy the mates of our youth. Yeah, sex is nice, but the pleasure lasts seconds, and then you're back to step one trying to get another high. And you try to please the flesh but it never gets satisfied, if only you could get your Spirit intertwined with your soul, you'd know that besides the Lord are pleasures forever more.

Pleasures forevermore.

You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore.^{(B)
Psalm 16:11}


Peace out to those who got the virus from no fault of your own, let God be your healer, let God press your wounds.

If you do not know your status, style up.

Red hearts.

It is no mistake that our hearts are red
That when thorns went through them, they bled.
Was no mistake they were made after that fashion
For red, no doubt is the colour of passion.

And when we loved, red hearts gave their all,
And the love was full, no leaks, there were no holes,
Our hearts gave of themselves, they gave of their nature
And expected no less, to them dishonesty was obscure.

And you can't fault a heart filled,
But what happens when its hopes are killed,
When the seeming truth was a lie,
When what should have lived, had died?

After building hopes and dreams
They tumbled, burned down, replaced with eerie screams,
Tears like torrents fell, lungs filled with sorrow to the brim,
When the red heart broke, it seemed life turned grim.

But we mustn't stifle the sorrow-

Let us mourn today for we must live tomorrow,
Let our tears overrun the dams of sobriety
Let's not just move on yet our wounds hurt still,
Let us allot the healing our hearts need now,

For when we love tomorrow,
Our hearts should not love any less because of yesterday
Let them still give of their fullness,
Let their passion remain,
Let our hearts remain red with passion

When we love again tomorrow.

For love cannot be forsaken because of the past,
It's life and energy rested because of scars,
We are given to love, for we are children of love.

Changes...(Part 1)

There was nothing extraordinary, at first, except that she looked very familiar. She brought back a whiff of nostalgia he was not pretty sure he could place his finger on. What was it about her? Regardless of the fact that she looked familiar, she did look pretty. She wasn't "hot" per se, she was beautiful; a gentle dove eyed beauty that was placid to behold.For those reasons, whenever he passed by Church, he thought about her, hoping perhaps he would chance on her again.


On the occasions he would see her and steal a glance, he would always be caught stealing it.She'd never look surprised; her eyes almost intimidating, as if she knew what he was thinking. So, he would quickly turn away and continue doing whatever he had been doing or pretended to be doing something.

Several years later he found himself in a spot. They were now friends.And not just friends, they were good friends who had experienced a bit of the sour part of life and were able to strengthen each other through it. Right now he had a decision to make...it could change everything..........

Word

Ever since the scales fell off and the light came in,
I have seen more clearly how this all fits in,
See the square peg can't fit in a round hole,
So it's time to pack these bags, time for me to move.

Funny how an angel of light can actually be an agent of darkness. Sometimes fools' gold shines brighter than real gold. Do we ever think about the things that we say, what we want them to mean or if we mean what we say? Try to understand that this world moves by Word, forget about the forces that the sciences give to it. In the beginning was Word, and Word keeps the world going on which is why this small rudder can steer a ship on a sea. Same reason why the tongue needs to be mastered.

When you say something, it is your creation. You either sustain the creation by your consistence or risk your honour by your vacillation. In the end we are murals. We are artworks.Whatever view I have of you is what I will take. If the side I see is inconsistent with your whole state, you pretty much cannot blame it on me, it is what  I saw.

What am I saying? Style up man, be a man of your word.

"This time I asked her name"

"This time I asked her name."


I tell myself in consolation after failing to get her number. See, she was another "prettiest sight lately" and this time I was not about to rue having gone without her name.

I had a lot of time to think how to go about it, get her name that is, but when push came to shove, I threw thinking out altogether and decided to say hullo. She was tall, pretty, had braids. She had a smile as lovely as an aurora, I could not help but find out her name.

She was talking with a friend, and they seemed to be deeply engrossed in their conversation but names must be got. So I dragged my friend along and ended their conversation. Call me reckless or impatient, but I went straight ahead- "Hi I'm Joel."

This would either backfire or work just fine; thank God it did the latter, her name escaped her lips gilded with a smile. Now, to protect her identity, her name I shall keep to myself just in case. (The world's just too small these days).

It is at this point I realised that I should have thought this through at first. It felt like asking a girl out and she says yes and you are faced with no idea of how to be a boyfriend.

I had her name. So?

That is where my friend stepped in, trying to steer the conversation into getting more than just a name. I did not catch this vision well. In the attempt, out of the four persons exchanging small talk, only one person gave out their number.

Now, I am telling myself, "I wish I'd asked for her number". Well,  much more than asking, probably negotiated better.

Oh well! Life is good! :) Number next time.

"Kamu kamu gwe muganda", one by one makes a bundle.A little better everyday. Yeah, I got my glass half full.

Mbu you have issues...

Have you ever wanted to go back to school after dropping out but cannot because the money just can't become enough! You have saved and saved but damn it! It's never enough!

Have you ever wanted to sleep but cannot unless you take some weed? The only thing close to a bedsheet is a thin film of polythene and an old thrown-away teddy bear for a pillow.

Have you ever wanted to have a clean piece of bread but dust covered morsels are all you ever get?

Ever wanted to call home, but all your people are dead?

Ever wanted to be alone, but there are deadlines ahead?

You think you have issues.....

A self centered life is a dead life.

Give, receive, thank.

Life.

Does not need to be lived waiting for a phone call. Doesn't have to be lived ruing a missed goal. Doesn't have to be lived licking at somebody's feet. Arise, Ntwatwa, Christ has given you light!